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-   -   My only Little Brother. (http://www.thelightbeyond.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1317)

lauren020494 February 13th, 2011 17:19

My only Little Brother.
 
I lost my little brother 11 years ago now in a bad car crash, where a drunk driver was driving with excessive speed and hit our car. Most of my family where in the car and where badly injured. Unfortunately my brother died two days later. I was young at the time but flashbacks i get are so realistic. Things definatley havnt got any better for me. Most people know me as a funny joking person but im the opposite. I dont like to talk much about what happened and dont like people im not close to knowing about me. It holds me back at times because people dont often know who i really am and understand the way i am at times. I just dont know how to carry on without constant reminders everday its very hard.

analise93 March 20th, 2011 22:23

My only little brother prt2
 
My babybrother was 4 years old when he drowned in the pool, i was only 7 at the time of his death. i wasnt able to pull him out of the pool in time, i didnt know how to swim, until this day i dont and i never tried learning and im 18 yrs old now. this have been haunting me , torturing me because ive blamed myself for his death im not who i use to be i dont know who i am anymore i dont feel loved or feel important the way my brother made me feel, i have 3 older sibilings and it seem as if the HATE me for my brothers death i would give anything to have my brother back, although i would say he's in a better place now, and i know he's happy now because our life was.../ is llike hell, or close to it on earth. i have suffered from depression and lost tremendous weight i have a big whole in my heart and i feel as if though no one or nothing can replace it. ive been hurting for 11 years now. i cant trust no one, nor do i have or really want any one to talk to about my problems i find it easier to write, life's so depressing that at times i feel as if i just want to give up ...ive cried all the tears im able to cry...so i feel your pain

mperkins June 30th, 2011 20:16

I had gone through the same thing. I lost a younger brother 7 years ago and I would still recall how we played with each other and how he addressed and made the family happy. Though at times we would poke fun at each other and end up hurting one another, we were still there for each other and I think that is just part of growing up with a sibling. The fight you make would not last long and there is a bigger fight where you only have one another.

Fleming August 9th, 2011 16:42

Lauren - After I lost my older brother, I felt the same way. I didn't like to talk about it with people. It felt draining to talk about it, even with the rest of my family. So, I learned to mask my true feelings by being more light hearted. It got people around me to be happier, which is good in a way, but it never really reduced the pain I felt. It simply delayed it. When I realized this, I decided to try professional counseling and to my surprise helped a lot. There's something to be said about talking to a person who's bounded by the law to keep everything you say just between you two. If it's truly gotten to the point where you don't feel you can continue hiding your true self anymore, I recommend trying it. You're definitely doing great by joining this forum and sharing your thoughts.

Analise - You are not to blame for the loss of your brother. You were 7 years old. Responsibility for someone's life does not fall on your shoulders. I hope you can learn to let go of that remorse. Continue to write about how you're feeling because it gives you an outlet. A lot of times when we're depressed, people don't realize how relieving it is to just express yourself whether through spoken word, writing, or even art.

Mperkins - Yeah, I fought with my brother a lot as kids. It actually makes me smile to think about the stupid rough housing and arguments we'd get into. I feel it's the memories (good and bad) that help keep his spirit alive.

Overall, coming from a younger brother, I wish I could have given my life for his. At the same time, I'm glad he doesn't have to endure the pain my family and I have because I love him. And I know he wouldn't want his life to be in vain and I just want to make him proud. I think that's something we all need to remember for all of our loved ones. Kinda cheesy? Sure. Still true though.

Warm regards,
Fleming


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