Originally Posted by Lottie
Thank you all. And hazel thank you for your private message.. I cannot reply yet as it says your inbox is full.
I know that I am going round and round in circles.. I feel so stuck.. but please all know your words do help.. and the fact there are people there who care like you all do is such a comfort.
One of her friends.. who contacted me after this all happened.. and simply shared our memories of her.. has been so cruel. Based on a photo of me with some friends he has decided I am someone who judges people on appearances. Saying I never liked Cat.. to 'enjoy my fake grief'. He kept repeating she was fat and ugly and telling me I was lying. I cannot believe someone can be so cruel and knowingly put me further down at a time like this. He is in his 30s.. (I am 19). I tried to explain myself.. I know what he thinks is not really relevant but the fact someone can accuse me of not missing my friend has been another huge blow.
Then the police phoned this morning.. they just need a statement from me. I know it's routine etc.. but I was told that after a couple of weeks it would all have calmed down. And it hasnt.. it's still right there at every turn it seems.
It's comforting that you say my guilt is unfounded.. I hope with time I will believe that too. I'm so scared that I won't though. I know it seems your words arent helping me.. and today I do feel like i'm falling even further.. that the bottom just got lower.. but you are all really helping, more than you could imagine. Thank you everyone.
hello lottie, have been keeping up with your posts and replys, lottie as you have said yourself, your guilt is unfounded, if you can sit down and have a good talk with yourself this reality will come to you, you are not guilty, this was an accident, please try and be kind to yourself my friend. All of our friends on forum have shared with you such wise words of support, all i would like to add is re-read their replys, chew them over then take on board that you did nothing wrong, be gentle with yourself.