Thread: Guilt
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Old July 9th, 2012, 20:19
Lottie Lottie is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 13
Default Thank you.

Thank you Hazel and Chrissie. My aunt noticed today.. just for a few minutes I sounded more normal. This evening i'm finding a bit of struggle but as you said Hazel... its ups and downs I guess. And there ARE (im trying to tell myself this right now!) some very tiny ups appearing now and again which I cling to.

The guilt is something that i'm becoming scared I will always feel... though I would say I am becoming better at trying to push that feeling aside.. even just for a while.. to focus on all the other feelings.. I guess the more 'normal' grief ones. Anger, hopelessness.. they are appearing. Hearing though that they are something 'normal' I guess gives comfort though. The shock is something that still hasn't gone too.. I guess it can't be as strong as it was.. but i'm almost surprised it's there still. I am going to see a counselor.. I don't know if I see it helping.. as it's not that I can't talk to people .. but worth a try. The doctor is also wanting to try anti-depressants.. i'm unsure on my feelings with this.

I am trying to remember just how dark a place I was in a week or so ago... to try and see progress. I'm worried it will take such a long time.. but then also scared it won't.. scared of being over it and scared of not being.

Seeing my friend was nice yesterday.. a scary step .. and horrible to start with but slowly I was in a slightly better place. To anyone else who is reading this.. who is facing problems.. don't be afraid to try little steps.. because if you don't try you won't go anywhere I suppose.

Thank you everyone again. x
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