Originally Posted by Lottie
Thank you Hazel and Chrissie. My aunt noticed today.. just for a few minutes I sounded more normal. This evening i'm finding a bit of struggle but as you said Hazel... its ups and downs I guess. And there ARE (im trying to tell myself this right now!) some very tiny ups appearing now and again which I cling to.
The guilt is something that i'm becoming scared I will always feel... though I would say I am becoming better at trying to push that feeling aside.. even just for a while.. to focus on all the other feelings.. I guess the more 'normal' grief ones. Anger, hopelessness.. they are appearing. Hearing though that they are something 'normal' I guess gives comfort though. The shock is something that still hasn't gone too.. I guess it can't be as strong as it was.. but i'm almost surprised it's there still. I am going to see a counselor.. I don't know if I see it helping.. as it's not that I can't talk to people .. but worth a try. The doctor is also wanting to try anti-depressants.. i'm unsure on my feelings with this.
I am trying to remember just how dark a place I was in a week or so ago... to try and see progress. I'm worried it will take such a long time.. but then also scared it won't.. scared of being over it and scared of not being.
Seeing my friend was nice yesterday.. a scary step .. and horrible to start with but slowly I was in a slightly better place. To anyone else who is reading this.. who is facing problems.. don't be afraid to try little steps.. because if you don't try you won't go anywhere I suppose.
Thank you everyone again. x
hello lotte, its late but just taking a last look before off to bed. I'm glad that you are thinking things through, the shock, the pain are a natural occurance
at a time like this. You mentioned getting more help, thats good but if i may just say that the anti-depressants can sometimes cause more problems in the long run, please try talking things through for a while before taking them and you are right about taking those little steps, all of us on forum have found this to be a good way, sorrow and grief or shock at what has happened just cannot be hurried, but we all cope in different ways, there is no right or wrong way. and please if you can allow your family to stay close to you and help you also. If you read this tonight, i hope that you sleep well and i pray for you to be comforted. god bless.