Still need closure
I lost my best friend in a car accident on 11/23/13. I am having such a hard time "accepting" it. I know she's gone but it's not real to me yet. I think it's because we the funeral home couldn't make her presentable enough to have a viewing. I am the kind of person who needs to see it to believe it and all I was able to see was an urn with a picture of her. I keep looking at the photos that were in the paper but that's not the same thing. All I can see there are the cars and a sheet over her body. I know it sounds morbid but I really need to see her body in order to really let it sink in. I even thought about going to the police department and asking to see the pictures from the scene. They probably won't let me but I need to do something before I drive myself crazy. I even called her phone so I could record her voicemail greeting. Now I can hear her voice still. I am 41 years old and I feel like a child. I don't know what to do anymore.