I understand your grief, on the 9th January 1999 i lost my two oldest children in a plane crash, my daughter was 11 and my son was 9.
The pilot of the plane was my father, i lost him too. I too could not understand why two innocent children should be taken. I was angry but not towards my father as i knew he would never have put the children in danger if he could help it. It has taken a long time to come to understand and accept that they are gone, I had three younger children at the time so it has been difficult watching them hit milestones that my two oldest children would never do.
Losing a child is wrong, this is not how it is suppose to go, they are suppose to outlive their parents. Even now many years later i can still break down, this is normal. I have gone on to have two more children and they know all about their older brother and sister, stories about them are still told, they are still very much part of our lives.
Take heart, the pain of losing a child is very different from any other loss, you and your family will get through this, your son may not be with you physically but he is in all your hearts and memories
My love to you all