chrissie, I haven't been to forum for several days - dealing with personal stuff - so I've just now read your message to giuls. I envy you the long-lasting love you knew with your husband, and know it's still there, though you might not be seeing him as you once did.
St. John Chrysostom: "Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before. They are now wherever we are."
So wherever you are, chrissie, there giuls is with you. How blessed you are, that you knew such love, and it's waiting for you still!