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  #11  
Old May 15th, 2012, 10:20
StarbrightRuby StarbrightRuby is offline
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Dear Marion

My sister died when I was 12 years old and the pain of that loss was excruciating. Now, as a mother myself, I have a glimpse into what it would be like to lose a child and I can imagine no pain as overwhelming as that.

These are early days for you and what is most important is just to take one day or moment at a time. Coming to a place of acceptance will take time - noone can say how long, for each of us is our own person. Seek the support family and friends you love and are comfortable with, and also use the online forums to gain support and understanding from others who have experienced similiar loss.

Sending you much love
Ruby
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  #12  
Old June 1st, 2012, 01:29
Marion Marion is offline
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Default More sadness since my daughters death

My daughter Samantha passed away in March results came back heart failure. Although she was never diagnosed with any heart issues they feel as quickly as it happened this was the final conclusion. As we try to move forward sine this I have been closely watching 2 of her friends that haven't taken it well. I have felt blessed that we have a bond that has formed and have fallen into a place I can't get out of since being called last week a girl that I have gotten close to was herself in a deep depression due to circumstances in her life along with the death of Samantha, losing the last person she felt she could really be honest with a stepped in front of a train last week, ending her pain. I was just visiting with her 2 days earlier and she seemed to be doing ok and now this. All the emotions of losing my daughter are back worst than before and my daughters other friend is really not in a good place now but I don't have it in me to do much. What do I have to offer him as I cannot cope well myself right now. Please what does anyone think? Should I worry about my family and distance myself from others to try to get some sanity and order back in our lives? I am struggling with the best decisions for us. Any feedback would be appreciated.
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  #13  
Old June 1st, 2012, 04:47
gumek gumek is offline
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Default loss of daughter and her friend

hello dear Marion, please may i say how sad i am for the loss of your precious daughter and now her friend. Can't say any words that will bring you comfort at this time but wanted to welcome you to this family of friends who know and understand you loss and your pain, always sad to say welcome and wish that things were different for all of us.

There are a group of dear souls who daily read the posts, we can only offer you a listening ear and a loving understanding heart and sometimes a word of encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, so please keep in touch, please keep talking, let your tears fall, there will always be some one here for you.If you feel the need then please feel free to pm me, tell us about your daughter when you are able. God bless, i will hold you in my prayers.

kind regards

chrissie. xx
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  #14  
Old June 1st, 2012, 05:11
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi marion how utterly sad to here of this awful news i am so sorry
how often we here of a young person passing suddenly due to a week heart that they knew nothing about it's a tradgedy for everyone to try and come to terms with my heart goes out to you as you try to cope with your own grief as well as all the family and her friends
as samanthas mother everyone will be drawn to you for guidance as mums are usually the one everyone looks to for help but you have so much to deal with yourself and not knowing you i don't know how strong you are to be able to do this the only thing i know is in being there and helping others we gain so much probably more than the help we give
these are samanthas friends she knows you are there for them as she can't be she will be proud of you as you do whatever you can or are able to do if you arn't strong enough at the moment it's understandable take that step back to gather a bit of strength for your families sake tell samanthas friends you will love to see them soon and will be there for them when you feel a bit stronger that you need a bit of space for recovery
i know which choice i would take but i am not in your place marion it is for you to decide what you can or can't do at the moment it needen't be one way or the other a bit of help to others with you and your family a priority is best
you say what can i offer him i have nothing you have love and that is all you need
hazelxxxxxx
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  #15  
Old June 1st, 2012, 10:35
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Marion, I write from the point of view of being a daughter. I am so sorry for your pain in losing your daughter. And then to lose her friend. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but like others who have responded, I am here to listen.

I was caregiver to my Mom, as you have been caregiver to your daughter and her friends. I know how very exhausted I was, how difficult it was to go on from minute to minute, never mind be there for someone else, to try to ease someone else's pain. At times, I needed to just stop for a while, and gather my own strength again, in order to go on being who and what my Mom needed.

Only you know where you are on your journey, and what you are able to give to others at any time. Only you know when you have to stop to gather your energy again. I can't help but think that your daughter would be asking you to look after her friends if she is not able to do that, but that she might also be asking them to look after you.

For your daughter's friend that you are most concerned about now, any chance you can tell him you care, and want to help, want to be there for him, but you yourself need to be cared for just now? Any chance you can make him feel needed, so draw him closer, draw him out of himself to help you and your family? (And in helping you and your family, help himself?)

You know the friend best. Is he at a loss, needing to be needed but not knowing how? Seems a lot to ask, but can you ask him to be there for you, so you can lean on him for a time? Not to burden him further, but sometimes we help ourselves out of the darkness by walking someone else into the light.

Please take time for yourself. You need to, if you are to continue being there for others.
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  #16  
Old June 18th, 2012, 09:22
abigailsbeautifulmemorial abigailsbeautifulmemorial is offline
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Hi Marion I lost my first daughter too who was still born so I know what you must be going through, right now your family needs you its not being selfish to think of yourself and your family above all others at this sad time of your life I am sure your friends will understand. Take it one day at a time they will be lots of bad days and a few good only time will heal the pain you are feeling right now you never really get over the loss of your child you just learn to live with it after all no parent expects to outlive there child. Its been 8 years now since I lost my daughter Abigail and they is not a day goes by that I do not think about her, its the not knowing that's the worse, what would she have looked like growing up, her personality her hopes and dreams that you will never be able to share all I can do now is hold her very close to my heart until the day I meet her again! Take care Marion it will get better but you will never forget your Daughter Samantha.

Best wishes

Dave
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  #17  
Old October 6th, 2012, 23:40
Marion Marion is offline
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Default Loss of my daughter

It's been awhile since I've been back to this sight. I don't know why I haven't been back besides trying to deal with our loss. The reality is my husband and myself haven't gotten too much better. Since our daughter so many others have passed away from 1 thing or another and it's been tough. In August, it would have been her 21st birthday. We had a nice celebration and we new she was there with some things happening that never could happened. We had brought lime green and hot pink balloons to let go for her and as we all watched the balloons first they all starting to pull together and then finally splitting with all the greens on 1 to side and all the pinks on the other. That was a very strong sign she was there as she never liked things mixed up. Our friends and hers couldn't believe what we saw. It was a comfort to me. Ther have been several others things that have happened and it really gives me comfort. Our missing her has gotten worse and I'm not sure how ill handle the holidays but I need some prayers to give me the strength to get thru them. Please anyone that can send prayers our way to make our way thru this. I need to come back here for more support as I'm not finding much in my area. God bless you all
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  #18  
Old October 7th, 2012, 04:46
gumek gumek is offline
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Hello dear marion, so very sad for your loss. Some of us on forum to believe very much in prayer, your post will be read by our family here and many prayers will be offered to JEsus for you. Your precious daughter will also be praying for you and your family,she does hear you and is very near to you. It is a very strong soul tie between a mother and her child and this tempory seperation must be the worst to go through, she is in that place that is our home waoting for you. Please dear friend remember that none of us are ever alone for God has promised to never leave nor forsake us.
I pray for God to comfort you for hIs face to shine upon you and give you His peace for you to be held in His loving arms of healing. Marian I will lift you up to the lord daily. God bless you.

Chrissie xx
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  #19  
Old October 7th, 2012, 05:54
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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Death is not extinguishing the light from a christian it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come

hi marion i know the days are hard for you and your family know we are always here for you we never forget our friends even though we may not hear from them you and others are always in our prayers
what a wonderful moment when the balloons divided and you recieved such a comforting sign from your daughter i remember how i wept when a rainbow arched my house on my birthday it fills the soul with joy as you realise the meaning -- this is from me in heaven i am happy i am enfolded in Gods love i don't forget you this is my gift to you i am with you in spirit until the day comes and we will be reunited in everlasting peace and love
love hazelxx
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  #20  
Old October 8th, 2012, 07:07
heavenlygirl heavenlygirl is offline
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What a heartbreaking story. I can't begin to imagine the grief you are experiencing. I have said a prayer for you and your family and hope that with time your heart begins to heal. Hugs!
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