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  #1  
Old January 22nd, 2013, 21:14
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Default Waking up is hard to do

It's tough being the grown-up, the caregiver, the one who cares, whose heart is breaking, but also the only one who can spare a loved pet any more suffering.

I made that horrible choice last night, as I sat through the night with Casper, my lovely cat of 16 years. He has been ill since early December. I was so afraid back then that I would lose him, was delighted with the vet said I could come take him home, delighted to care for him through first a diabetes scare - turned out it wasn't diabetes at all. Then this past weekend, Casper rallied and was more his old self. Breathed easier - both of us - than we had in weeks. We had a lovely weekend of cuddles together.

Yesterday, Monday I made an emergency vet visit. Nothing definite came of it, but Casper was in awful pain. Brought him home on pain killers but with no clear idea of what was going on, except he was bleeding from something high in his gastric tract. All Monday and Monday night I sat with him, watching him get worse and worse. Finally he slumped over his water dish without the strength to lift his head. I knew he was begging me to end his suffering, end his pain.

This morning I called a service that comes to your home to carry out the euthanization, and then takes care of what happens next. My lovely sweet little boy just went to sleep in my arms. The last words he heard were mine, last arms around him were mine, last thing he knew was being comforted and going off to sleep, pain gone. I so much wanted for him to die at home, in his loved places, with the person who loved him more than anyone else in the world. Not in a cold vet clinic amongst strangers. And we did that.

I know I will miss him beyond words. I can picture him restored to himself, whole and well, and picture my Mom waiting for her Casper to come home, so she can look after him there. The two I love best are together again. Pleasure for them both.

In time, I know, my home will have another cat. I am a cat person, and will honour Casper by welcoming one of his furry friends to live here with me and with Casper's memories.

My thoughts go out to everyone who has a cat, or who has lost a cat. Aren't they lovely and loving creatures?
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  #2  
Old January 23rd, 2013, 04:39
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua Chris, I am so sorry for the loss of Casper. I know how much he meant to you. Here if you want to talk my friend.

May God bless you
Tom x
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  #3  
Old January 23rd, 2013, 07:00
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Tom, thank you. I guess the pain is double, because losing my cat after 16 years of unquestioning love means losing the last of what was "ours." It was my Mom who picked out Casper from amongst all the shelter cats craving to be taken home. He was as much her cat as mine, and losing them both now ... I believe animals are made whole again, and welcome, in that next peaceful world just as people are. And I like to believe that my Mom has been waiting for her Casper to come home, so they can look after each other there.

Now the two are just waiting for me. No hurry on my part, because I know where to find them when the time comes for me go home, too. There's more I have to do here first. My home is empty now, but will be filled again with another cat in need of warmth and love, I'm sure.

I am so very glad a service was available to let me take leave of my furry friend from our home, and I didn't have to make his last hours stressful and cold in a taxi to a vet, and dying impersonally amongst strangers. Both people and pets, in my view, should be set free from the warmth of home, surrounded by those who love them, whenever possible.

Thanks for your support and kind words.
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  #4  
Old January 23rd, 2013, 09:59
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi chris sorry about the news of casper his time had come and you were right in saying enough he is suffering time to go home he went straight from your loving arms into the arms of your mum waiting for him he had the best life any cat could have wished for i hope you find comfort in that
some lucky cat is now waiting to be welcomed into your home and a new loving relationship to share your life with will begin again they all have their different personalities but they all give us love and a special affection that always enhances our lives
hope you are ok
love hazelxxx
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  #5  
Old January 23rd, 2013, 15:23
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Hi hazel,

I'm doing fine. Have the weeps from time to time, but that's to be expected. I keep looking for the little black head poking around a corner wondering what I'm up to, and looking to see if I'm settled with my tea so he can come for a cuddle.

I spent the day cleaning and washing and putting away Casper's things, dishes and so on. I wanted to get as much of his scent gone as possible, fo when a new furball comes to live here. I washed all of Casper's small blankets and then I found a small pillow that still had his scent on it. Can't wash that away, not yet. I still need to smell him here, if only for a while longer.

I've several times yesterday and today visited the website of the SPCA in Toronto. They post pictures and a brief story of the cats they have up for adoption, and already I've fallen in love with two or three I'd like to bring home with me. Will have to settle for just one. It might seem awfully soon after Casper, but there is one little girl on the website who just captures my heart. So that no one else gets her first, I might go tomorrow and see if she is still in the shelter, and see if she is the one who wants to share the next part of my life. Will let you know if I bring a new little furbaby home.

I so understand the emptiness of a home without a loved one, whether it is a person we love and who goes on ahead of us, or an animal. Loss is loss, and it hurts.
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  #6  
Old January 23rd, 2013, 17:22
gumek gumek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j's daughter View Post
Hi hazel,

I'm doing fine. Have the weeps from time to time, but that's to be expected. I keep looking for the little black head poking around a corner wondering what I'm up to, and looking to see if I'm settled with my tea so he can come for a cuddle.

I spent the day cleaning and washing and putting away Casper's things, dishes and so on. I wanted to get as much of his scent gone as possible, fo when a new furball comes to live here. I washed all of Casper's small blankets and then I found a small pillow that still had his scent on it. Can't wash that away, not yet. I still need to smell him here, if only for a while longer.

I've several times yesterday and today visited the website of the SPCA in Toronto. They post pictures and a brief story of the cats they have up for adoption, and already I've fallen in love with two or three I'd like to bring home with me. Will have to settle for just one. It might seem awfully soon after Casper, but there is one little girl on the website who just captures my heart. So that no one else gets her first, I might go tomorrow and see if she is still in the shelter, and see if she is the one who wants to share the next part of my life. Will let you know if I bring a new little furbaby home.

I so understand the emptiness of a home without a loved one, whether it is a person we love and who goes on ahead of us, or an animal. Loss is loss, and it hurts.
oh chris darling, let us know if shes the one, casper and mum are sorting it.
i'm glad your ok love. sending warm hugs. from me ans ebani. xxxxxxxx
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  #7  
Old January 24th, 2013, 16:17
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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I went off to SPCA this morning to check out the little girl whose picture I saw yesterday. Long story short: she is at the moment prowling around my apartment, trying to decide if this will be her "forever" home. I know it's awfully soon after my beautiful CFH left me. But when I got to SPCA and heard Poppy's story, it broke my heart and I had to bundle her into the carrier and bring her home.

My new girl could be a twin sister of CFH. I was reluctant to take her, didn't want her to ever feel she is a replacement, for she isn't. She's her own self. But she is the colour of CFH, with his beautiful big eyes. Except she has a patch of white where CFH didn't, on the chest.

Anyway, Poppy's first owner died. That man's wife turned Poppy over to SPCA rather than try to keep her. Poppy was then adopted out from SPCA, but the second owner returned her after just 5 weeks, saying Poppy had "behaviour problems" - she wouldn't let the woman pick her up, or cuddle her. Back into a cage at SPCA Poppy went.

I have her now on what's called "foster-to-adopt" - it's a 1-month trial. The SPCA is afraid I will return her, too. I am determined she will find a forever home with me, though. This little girl has lost her loved person, and I have lost a loved cat, so together we will try to mend.

I am heartbroken at losing CFH. And determined to make a new home for Poppy, as a remembrance of CFH and for Poppy's own sake. I would like to re-name her, but she does respond to "Poppy" when I call. She pokes her head out to see who wants her, and for what. So she may well stay "Poppy." That's who she thinks she is.

We will try.
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  #8  
Old January 24th, 2013, 16:59
gumek gumek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j's daughter View Post
I went off to SPCA this morning to check out the little girl whose picture I saw yesterday. Long story short: she is at the moment prowling around my apartment, trying to decide if this will be her "forever" home. I know it's awfully soon after my beautiful CFH left me. But when I got to SPCA and heard Poppy's story, it broke my heart and I had to bundle her into the carrier and bring her home.

My new girl could be a twin sister of CFH. I was reluctant to take her, didn't want her to ever feel she is a replacement, for she isn't. She's her own self. But she is the colour of CFH, with his beautiful big eyes. Except she has a patch of white where CFH didn't, on the chest.

Anyway, Poppy's first owner died. That man's wife turned Poppy over to SPCA rather than try to keep her. Poppy was then adopted out from SPCA, but the second owner returned her after just 5 weeks, saying Poppy had "behaviour problems" - she wouldn't let the woman pick her up, or cuddle her. Back into a cage at SPCA Poppy went.

I have her now on what's called "foster-to-adopt" - it's a 1-month trial. The SPCA is afraid I will return her, too. I am determined she will find a forever home with me, though. This little girl has lost her loved person, and I have lost a loved cat, so together we will try to mend.

I am heartbroken at losing CFH. And determined to make a new home for Poppy, as a remembrance of CFH and for Poppy's own sake. I would like to re-name her, but she does respond to "Poppy" when I call. She pokes her head out to see who wants her, and for what. So she may well stay "Poppy." That's who she thinks she is.

We will try.
hey chris, so glad yourve found your new companion, im sure poppy will look after you, it was all arranged you see. good news for poppy and yourself. let us know how she settles in.
hugs chrissie. xx
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  #9  
Old January 24th, 2013, 18:09
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi chris wonderful news i'm so glad you and poppy have found one another please keep in touch and let us all know how she is settling in
love hazelxxx
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