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  #31  
Old August 11th, 2013, 01:23
Steve Mattson Steve Mattson is offline
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JUST ONCE MORE

Another birthday without you, here is my birthday wish, a sad refrain of lost love.

Just once more, I would love to have you call and interrupt me at work only to hear you say that you just called to say "I love you", nothing more.
Just once more, hearing you ask "What would you like to have for dinner?"
Just once more having you call with a list of what you want me to pick up at the grocery store.
Just once more having you ask me to help you re-pot your plants or help with something around the house.
I wish that I could, just once more, see you smile or hear you laugh.
Just once more, to feel the love when your touch would comfort me.
I am saddened knowing there will be no more hugs, no more kisses, no more special moments, no more whispers of the dreams we dared to share.
I'm sorry for all the times I would say "just a minute", or "not now" or "can I call you right back?"
I am heartbroken knowing that "just once more" can never again be in this lifetime but that "once again" is possible through the sacrifice and love of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. When the time is right, God will reunite us "just once more."
I love you forevermore, love me.
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  #32  
Old September 1st, 2013, 00:02
Steve Mattson Steve Mattson is offline
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Default Happy Birthday Lisa

Happy Birthday Lisa,
I can't begin to tell you how much I miss you, just as much today as on your last birthday.
I don't need a special day to remind me of what you mean to me, I am certain you can still feel the love, as I do, but time goes by so slowly without you. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about you. You will remain in my heart and on my mind until God calls me home to be reunited with you. I love you and I really miss you a lot. Love me.
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  #33  
Old September 9th, 2013, 15:06
pw5599 pw5599 is offline
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Steve, I know your pain and my story is at the link in my signature.

I've always said my wife wanted me happy when she was here and now that she's gone, wherever she is she still wants me happy. From the time I lost her I tried to do things that make me happy. I had some success and even though the pain is still with me I know I have a duty to her and myself to try and move on, to be happy once again. It may never be the same type of happiness but it can be happiness.

I always advise people to see a Psychiatrist and if advised by them, try anti depressants at least for awhile. If I hadnt have done that several months back I'd still be stuck, as the doc put it. I was on them for one month only.

Many of the things I did in those first few months and even now, felt like I had been led into them by something or someone. I like to think it is my wife helping me out. We must be open to those sort of things, to allow ourselves to follow those signs and signals, to let ourselves enter into those unfamiliar situations. Many times I have done that and been rewarded with happiness and healing.

On top of the things I did for my happiness early on, I recently met someone who is very understanding of my situation. She has become a very good friend and has helped the healing of my heart and soul. This has also been good for me but doing something like that is different for everyone. I found that a new friend who knew nothing of my past, didnt know my wife and our relationship was something I needed.

I wish you luck in your new life and remember that anything this hard cannot be done alone. It's not a sign of weakness to seek help, it's a sign of strength.
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  #34  
Old June 21st, 2014, 00:17
Steve Mattson Steve Mattson is offline
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Default Happy 23rd Anniversary

Lisa;
We were married 23 years ago today. I never thought I would be growing old without you. The last two years were spent missing you.The time we shared together were the happiest of my life. And I want you to know that nothing made me happier than being your husband. My biggest fear is that you didn't know how proud I am of you and how much you mean to me. Sometimes when I take Tyke to the park, I find myself sitting in the grass and watching him play while imagining you next to me with your head on my shoulder. Precious moments are re-lived almost daily. I treasure the memories of our time together.
I believe God can provide a purity of memory and will highlight the positive aspects of a lost love, thus leaving those left behind, nothing but thoughts worthy of remembering...... if that is what their heart chooses. That is very comforting and just one of His many miracles. His wisdom and compassion validates everything and most importantly, our love for each other. In my heart, we will be together forever.
I loved you.
I love you.
I'm ALWAYS going to love you.
So very much. Happy Anniversary!
Love, me.
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  #35  
Old June 21st, 2014, 12:05
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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steve that is so beautiful some people search all their lives and never find such a love as this you are so blessed and i know one day you will be reunited for eternity xxx
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  #36  
Old June 21st, 2014, 12:26
Steve Mattson Steve Mattson is offline
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Default Thank You

Hazel,
Thank you for your kind words. You have been supportive many times and it is appreciated. I think you are a very kind and loving person. Hope you are doing well.
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  #37  
Old June 21st, 2014, 13:24
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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thankyou steve i am ok and it gave me so much joy to hear from you even though many friends on the forum have been able to move on and it's a wonderful thing when that happens i never forget any of my friends on here and each year at christmas i will say a prayer for everyone and all our loved ones in heaven last year you were not forgotten and i lit my candle of love for Lisa i do hope you are coping i know for those of us who grieve time goes on but it all seems like yesterday but in time a peace comes because we know we will be with them for eternity what a wonderful love you two share xxx
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  #38  
Old August 11th, 2014, 00:10
Steve Mattson Steve Mattson is offline
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Default Love Story

Lisa, today is my third birthday without you. Another year, another milestone, another painful reminder of our love story and how much I miss you still.
Lisa, my beautiful wife, you taught me how to love without compromise, without question, unconditionally and unforgettably.
As I continue to languish over losing you, and my mind tries to envision days past, I have come to realize that REAL love stories never truly have an ending.......the next chapter will be written when God chooses to call me home. Until then, I will continue to count the special moments and memories that are locked forever in my heart. I remain devoted to you and always will.
Love,
Me
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  #39  
Old August 11th, 2014, 00:31
baglady1st baglady1st is offline
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I so understand your pain. You had a life mate as did I. It is so beautiful that you write such lovely things about her. Never let that die. Blessings to you and your wife.
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  #40  
Old September 1st, 2014, 00:05
Steve Mattson Steve Mattson is offline
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Default Your 3rd Birthday with Jesus

Happy Birthday Lisa

My heart and my thoughts are with you on this, your third birthday in Heaven. I miss you so very much. I miss our two hearts growing older together. I miss sharing our thoughts, our hopes, and our visions of what life's dreams could become as we approached and embraced the realization that we were on the downhill side of life. By that I mean it's easier to coast downhill than it is to pedal uphill. We didn't always have it easy but it was always easier because of you and knowing I had your complete love and support in all things. Your love continues to be a guiding light. I know you are with me and when God chooses we will be together once again though the grace and sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ.
Love never dies, it only continues to grow. Love, Me
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