Father-in-law has passed

[sacback]

Two weeks ago my father-in-law passed away. He lived on the other side of the country, so I didn't know him very well, & neither did our son. I feel almost guilty because my husband is grieving so much, and there isn't anyone around who knew his father to share in that grief. We are trying to be a comfort to him, but that is not the same. I don't know how to help him.

[mollyL]

Fortunately I did have some time with my father in law and I became very fond of him. I found it very tricky dealing with my husband after his father passed. For awhile he was mad nearly all the time, and he was extremely moody. I tried to be very gentle with him and took my cues from what he had to say. Once they have had a chance to process all their feelings, they will be getting back to normal and accepting the fact that Dad is gone.

[trick-r-treat]

Your husband is probably feeling regret because he didn't spend more time with him. I sometimes think I would hate myself if anything happened to my family. They live in Germany and I moved back to the states 26 years ago. I regretted never going back when my grandmother passed away. But even if I did, my life is here, and it would just be to visit.

[clickinggirl]

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your father-in-law. I think the most important things you can do for your husband right now is to give him space, but also be there to talk to him when he is able. I have found it comforting to ask people about a favorite memory, or a shared event. That more often than not will blossom into more stories.

I hope this helps.

[skatss]

It's so hard not to be able to help someone grieve over a loss of a parent. I'm sure your husband is not angry at you or anyone really. When my parents died I was angry too but not at anyone. I was just angry.

Let him grieve and get it out of his system. You are the one he is closest to now and you're the only one he can show his anger and grief to. After a time things will go back to normal.

[healing07]

I feel sad for your loss. You can try to give console your husband and talk him about his father. You can ask him that death is law of nature and death spares nobody.