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  #1  
Old December 7th, 2012, 12:29
Confused88 Confused88 is offline
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Default I can handle the death I canīt handle the suffering

My dad died from cancer- but I feel right in this forum because I feel like it was an insanely violent death.

I can hardly believe I can EVER "accept" his extreme suffering. I donīt know if itīs normal for cancer to be this horrible.

I think I can cope with him dieing or not being here. But I cannot cope with his fear pain and the horror of it all.

My father was sick for exactly a year before he died. When he got the diagnosis I thought, ok it wonīt be so bad. He can live with it, itīs not so bad.

But one hit came after the other. It was horrible to watch and not being able to do anything. Itīs hardly believable, even now.

Is it normal for cancer to be this terrible?
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  #2  
Old December 7th, 2012, 13:15
Mart Mart is offline
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Default Horrible disease

I'm so sorry to hear about your father and yes that horrible disease is the worst
Ever it has taken so many loved ones including my wife in 12 months too I can't even say the word , young and old are taken from us every day x
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  #3  
Old December 7th, 2012, 14:34
Confused88 Confused88 is offline
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thank you for your comforting response.

It seems to me, when you tell people a loved one died from cancer, they feel like itīs no big deal (at least psychologists donīt seem "impressed") like it is just a normal thing. I think it is so outrageous and obvioulsy anyone who does, has no experience with this horrible indeed, disease.
Itīs true it happens to so many people. But it doesnīt make it less horrible.
No way.
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  #4  
Old December 8th, 2012, 11:35
gumek gumek is offline
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Posts: 746
Default suffering

Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused88 View Post
My dad died from cancer- but I feel right in this forum because I feel like it was an insanely violent death.

I can hardly believe I can EVER "accept" his extreme suffering. I donīt know if itīs normal for cancer to be this horrible.

I think I can cope with him dieing or not being here. But I cannot cope with his fear pain and the horror of it all.

My father was sick for exactly a year before he died. When he got the diagnosis I thought, ok it wonīt be so bad. He can live with it, itīs not so bad.

But one hit came after the other. It was horrible to watch and not being able to do anything. Itīs hardly believable, even now.

Is it normal for cancer to be this terrible?
hello dear confused88, that dreadful disease has effected so many lives, it takes no prisoners, some make it if its found early enough but the treatment is so delibitating. you may have read some of the stories here on forum, its heartbreaking as we read of the suffering that cancer causes the patient and their loved ones. some of us have discussed and begged the question as to how we ever got through it with them and how we will be able to go on with our lives without them by our side and all the horrible memories.but if we allow ourselves to go through the grief, allow the tears, we will come through it all. it takes time that is different for all of us but if the grief begins to consume us we need to each find a way to allow ourselves to heal and it is possible but not overnight. here on forum we can come and talk, be listened to when there are no answers to be found anywhere else. it was a year for me yesterday and i know that there was/is a strong support network of understanding friends here who were standing with me, i wasnt alone.

i know we just can't get our heads around the why's the suffering but somehow we have to let that go, it is done and we can't change a thing that happened. in time dear friend you will find it a bit easier this i promise but come here when you need a shoulder to lean on. take care.

sending hugs.

chrissie. xxx
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  #5  
Old August 6th, 2013, 09:28
confusedwithgrief confusedwithgrief is offline
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I feel the same way. My dad passed away 2 weeks ago and I was shocked at his suffering and pain at the end. It is very hard to deal with. I begged the nurses to take away his pain.
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  #6  
Old August 7th, 2013, 08:28
Whitehorse81 Whitehorse81 is offline
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Watching my husband die right before my eyes was the hardest thing ive ever had to endure. Seeing him in fear, in pain, and suffering was almost to much to bear, but I'm glad I was there. I want to believe my being there brought him comfort. I'm sure your being with your Dad brought him comfort as well. The words "they are in a better place" make sense to me now.

hugs to you....
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  #7  
Old September 28th, 2013, 08:10
ChrisH26 ChrisH26 is offline
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I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with the loss of a loved one but one day you will not have to deal with pain or sickness or suffering there's a scripture id like you all to read its revelation 21:3,4 it'll give you hope for your dead loved ones.
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