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Old May 10th, 2008, 21:55
Rachele Rachele is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 372

Gina, maybe you're right that acceptance is the word. Though I would hope with acceptance would come some sort of comfort. I just can't imagine going on like this with such emotional pain inside me. It's got to get better. I know, I'm not sobbing everday or throughout the day, so that's got better. I miss her physical prescence terribly. I hope my heart knows how to heal. All I want to know is that mom, despite everything she went through prior to her death is ok. That's why I suppose I look to books and mediums who seem to be able to channel the spirits. May we one day find that both our hearts heal. Hope our Mother's Day brings us some comfort tommorow. Talk to you soon.
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Old May 11th, 2008, 00:39
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Bridgeport, CT, U.S.A.
Posts: 236

I only know what I feel & I understand what you mean when you say comfort. The two of us must sound crazy to some people with all the talk of signs & mediums because we believe. In our hearts, we believe. I just don't want to use the word comfort, for me anyway, I don't think even after almost 3 yrs. I find any comfort, it is more like acceptance. I had no choice but to accept Grandma's death & I find a kind of peace. Peace that she died in her sleep with no pain, which she had alot of (back pain), that she was such a big part of my life & she was there every step of the way, that she knew she was loved dearly, peace that she loved me for who I am & not what I am, & most of all I find alot of 'comfort' in being able to say she was more than my grandmother, so much more, she was my best friend. Most people see their grandparents on holidays & birthdays but I was fortunate enough to have them every day. I'm sorry if I am talking too much it has been a tough day (mothers day, Monday is 2 mos. since Grandpa died & next Friday is my birthday).
I guess I am in one of those moods, the one's when you get frustrated because you can control your life, but there is nothing you can do when someone you love dies. Kind of like you feel like you could have done something if you had known but now it's too late.
Okay, on to what you posted. I went through those awful days where I cried all the time, it gets easier. I'm going to throw another word at you, adapt. That's where I was going when I got sidetracked with my 'venting'. I guess we learn to adapt to the situation. I have. I don't like it but I don't have any other choice. Well, I guess I have said enough tonight. Thanks for listening. Happy Mother's Day. Don't forget to tell me how your day was, I'll be waiting.
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