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Old March 16th, 2013, 10:55
Angelstorm Angelstorm is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1
Default Can't get over my niece's death

My niece and I were very close, she was 17 and I was 18 now 19. She was my best friend, the person I talked to about boys, or gossip. We were almost like sisters.

She committed suicide a few months ago.

What happened was She was talking to a friend about a teacher in the school and another girl overheard them. She reported them to another official at the school who turned this man into law enforcement.

They were accused of a sexual relationship. This man was in danger of losing everything. Friends, my niece, the teacher, the girl who overheard my niece, and the individual who made the report were all questioned for months.

The person who made the report stated they'd seen him "touch her face and they held hands" while they were in an empty hall once. All of the schools camera tapes were pulled and no video was found.

He and my niece beat the case. He kept his job and everything was normal, or so we thought. My sister and her husband went out of town and they called my brother to go check on her. When he got there she had slit her wrists and was gone. Her note said she couldn't deal with losing her friend and she did it to protect him.

He came to the funeral, he looked gaunt, his eyes were bloodshot and swollen. He just didn't look good. He sent a big thing of flowers as well. After her funeral he was the last person to leave the grave. (he stayed after everyone left, I was the last one to drive away), I saw him bend down and kiss the casket.

He didn't come to the dinner at my sister's house and my sister said he quit his job.

I'm so full of sadness, I go to call her and know she won't pick up. She won't graduate, she's just missing out. How could she leave me like this? What if they were having a relationship she never told anyone about? Why wouldn't she tell me? I cry every might before bed. This is killing me...
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Old March 16th, 2013, 13:20
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,144

hi angelstorm i am so sorry for you loss suicide is such a tragedy it's either an illness of the mind or a cry for help no one can answer the questions of why this happened and the if onlys must be going round your head she should have asked for help but sadly she didn't and those left behind have to carry all the dreadful grief
your upset as well why she didn't share her thoughts with you over this relationship well she was 17 and possibly may have been in love with this man it was taboo lives would have been ruined if it got out so it had to be a secret
Teachers are in a position of trust to have any relationship is considered a terrible sin but they are human like the rest of us if you fall in love with someone it's not something you chose to do it just happens of course it all depends on his age but i feel great sadness for him he will be carrying this with him for the rest of his life
its all speculation though no one knows but them like her passing she may have hoped like many do she would be saved and it was a cry for help
try to forgive her and just grieve for her passing remembering all she was to you try writing down your thoughts even anger if you feel it talk to her you may feel her presence with you and find some relief from the pain
crying is good for you it releases the sad emotions so cry whenever you need to don't surpress the tears i pray eventually you will be able to accept she is now at peace in heaven
love hazelxx
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Old March 19th, 2013, 04:36
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534

Shalom in Yeshua Angelstorm, welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear of the death of your niece and the way it has effected you. Know that I have already said a prayer for you to be comforted.

Try not to think about the what if's or the relationship she had or didn't have. This is not important and if you focus on this you will just end up seeking to blame someone for her death. We do this a human beings but it is not helpful. It is much better to celebrate her short life by remembering the happy times you shared together.

As Hazel suggests talk to her as she will be able to hear you. In addition talk to your family and friends about her. This does help. Talk here too, we want to help you with this.

Suicide does carry a stigma and is not talked about, but until we can stand in the shoes of the person to takes this step we cannot and should not judge. None of us know what was happening in her head that night, all we know is the despair she was in, distorted her perspective. It is as much an illness and impairment as any other illness, so celebrate her life and talk about her with your head held high.

May God bless you
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