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Old July 4th, 2016, 13:40
Confused88 Confused88 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 35
Default loss of my ballet teacher today...

I learned about the death of my ballet teacher today...

I decided to post it here on this forum, because he wasnīt just my teacher,
in a lot of ways he was my friend too.

Not just a friend but a mentor and I wouldnīt be anywhere near where I am technique wise, and schooling wise, point of my life wise, without him.

I owe a lot to him. And I am so sad I never got to say goodbye.

I learned of his death today, but he actually died a week ago while on a trip.

What really upsets me is all the things he gave me and taught me and made possible for me...... and how I am not sure I thanked him enough.

Also I am so upset because there were still so many things he should have taught me, things I wanted to learn, knowledge I really really wanted.
Not just technique. But history, stories about ballet and Russia (he was already old).

All the things, I am angry, I didnīt ask more for it, about him and his life, and the weeks before his death I was not in class a lot because preparing for an audition elsewhere.

So I feel like I didnīt take everything I could have and he would have wanted to give me from him.

At least, the day before he left I had class with him alone and we had a longer talk before saying goodbye. I am glad about that.

Also, I feel so much at a loss because I was about to transfer to Russia myself for studies and there would have been advice he would have given me and also I would have wanted him to see me going places and having success.

He died suddenly and it is not sure what caused it (he was ill though already).

However, his death is totally out of the blue. And i canīt believe it.

I feel sad, shocked and a huge gratefulness for all he did for me.. and kind of sad for not giving back enough.... Even though I donīt know how I could have.

Also I feel so sad and upset about all the things he COULD have given and taught me, the knowledge and stories that now died with him.
That makes me really really sad....

Iīm going to miss him and feel really lost now.

Just wanted to.. tell someone.
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