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  #1  
Old July 14th, 2007, 11:01
janus76 janus76 is offline
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Default supporting a partner

i am supporting my partner through the loss of her brother atm he killed himself and it was very unexpected she is finding it hard to deal with as she didn't get on with him that well and cuts her up so much and i find it hard to support her coz i don't know wot to say to her so i am just doing my best to comfort her when needed but also give her the space she needs to grief
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  #2  
Old July 14th, 2007, 15:08
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Janus76, it sounds like your instincts are guiding you well. Allow your partner to grieve as she needs to grieve, cry when she needs to cry, and even feel guilty if that's what she needs to feel.

You can always give her a reality check by saying something like, "Your brother was never very nice to you. I think he would have been a hard person to keep in close touch with. But I understand you feel badly that you weren't closer."

Perhaps if she's the "group" type you could help her get hooked up with a support group for people who lose loved ones through suicide. Your local hospital or mental health center should be able to give you some good leads.

Just remember, there's nothing you can say to fix it or make it better. Grief isn't like that. Just being there and being willing to listen can make all the difference.
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  #3  
Old July 14th, 2007, 16:11
SageMother SageMother is offline
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It must be extremely difficult for your partner to deal with the mixture of emotions that must be running rampant. I am sure you will know what to do and that your support is something she will look back on with great appreciation.
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Old July 24th, 2007, 08:18
Taggart Taggart is offline
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I hope your partner is able to deal with the loss as well as possible, janus76.

I've never experienced a similar situation, but I'm sure the mixed feelings complicates the loss.
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  #5  
Old August 12th, 2007, 09:44
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janus76 View Post
i am supporting my partner through the loss of her brother atm he killed himself and it was very unexpected she is finding it hard to deal with as she didn't get on with him that well and cuts her up so much and i find it hard to support her coz i don't know wot to say to her so i am just doing my best to comfort her when needed but also give her the space she needs to grief
She needs to get through this as best she can. You can be her support base. You just have to let her tell you what she wants. She'll do this by voice and body language. It's important that she stills gets everyday stuff like enough sleep and good food, so you can help her that way as well.
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  #6  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 08:17
debrajean debrajean is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Priscilla View Post
She needs to get through this as best she can. You can be her support base. You just have to let her tell you what she wants. She'll do this by voice and body language. It's important that she stills gets everyday stuff like enough sleep and good food, so you can help her that way as well.

I agree, in order to get well, she must stay well. Lack of sleep and an unhealthy diet will only make matters worse.
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Old February 8th, 2008, 01:38
jr_sci jr_sci is offline
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You are doing the right thing by supporting her.On this hard time he/she needs anybody support which you are providing.
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  #8  
Old September 1st, 2015, 08:59
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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re posted x
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