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Old December 20th, 2010, 13:38
neverforgetx neverforgetx is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1

i'm so glad i found this. i am 17 and my dad killed himself late november this year, and my mum has recently been admitted into a mental health ward.
losing a parent when your an adult is difficult, very difficult when your a child but feels almost impossible when your a teen. your friends are there for you; but it feels like no one actually understands how you feel. heck i don't understand how i feel. i wanna talk about it so bad to them but i cant.

you never know what feelings gonna come next: denial, numbness, anger, guilt, fear, vulnerability.
its just so weird to think that a month ago i was the happiest i had ever been and i thought things were just gonna get better. now i feel as though i'll never be ok again.
at least we all know that somewhere out there are people who are going through the same thing.
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Old December 20th, 2010, 18:34
iloveyoudad iloveyoudad is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1

Hi, im sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my dad 2 years ago when i was 14 (now 16) to a very sudden and unexpected heart attack. He was a very healthy and fit person, i was the person who called the ambulence and administered CPR, at the time i was so scared and i was left damaged. It all happened in a school holiday so a lot of people from my school didnt know and it suprised me how, although we had told the school about my fathers passing, many of my teachers didnt know. I felt so alone because i didnt want to talk to my mum, she already had enough on her plate without telling her my problems. I was also very angry with my self for months, 'was it my fault?' and 'why did it happen to him?'. I never went to councilling of bereavment groups because im a naturally shy person. Today would have been his 44th birthday and i was just looking for a way to express how i felt and how i still feel. I regret never talking to people about it but at the time it was the easiest thing to do. I didnt want people treading on eggshells around me. I still hear people say things about dads and then hush up when im near because they think ill break down or something. Secretly i want to talk about my dad, he is still with me and i dont feel like just because he died hes not my dad. I just wanted people to know that i was ok and that i wasnt a freak who had emotional issues. Iv leant to cope with his passin but i still miss him everyday and i look at the memory box i made with his hat and some tickets to gigs and festivals we had been to together. Those are the best memories of my life and i want to remember him by those images not the one i see when i go to his grave, because thats not my dad. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, again im truly very sorry for your loss and everyone else on heres loss. Stay strong xxx
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Old February 6th, 2011, 20:03
Emz Emz is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Withernsea
Posts: 35
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I am sorry for all your losses I lost my mum to Breast cancer when i was 12, i am now only 14, my mum got breast cancer when i was 10 but then had an opperation and it all went away, but then about 2 years after it came back. Although she got it in her other breast, it then spread to her neck and also lung, i was getting told everything was going to be ok. Then she got shingles and MRSA but then they went away, then she got Limphodinia, thats where your arm swells up because of something i arnt quite sure why. So she got all these as well as having cancer which was spreading, i was getting told everything was going to be ok. although it wasnt on April 23rd 2008 i got took out of school i new something was the matter with my mum, we got to the hospital me and my sister and my mums partner also my nanna (my mums mum) and the first thing i saw was her nighty which said 'sweet dreams' then i saw my mum, i just burst out crying, then that night my mum passed away. Not so long ago my friend told me that the doctors had told my mum she might not make it to christmas i was annoyed because it felt like i was the only one that didnt know she was going to die. I just need someone to talk to, maybe an adult that has been through this when they was a teenager.
All my love to all of you
Emily xx
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