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  #31  
Old May 17th, 2012, 11:33
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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I think that almost makes it worse, the amount of people I'd be upsetting. When I'm thinking straight I don't want to die as it'd quiet literally kill my niece, my sister, all my cousins, my aunt and uncle. I hate going backwards as it always seems so easy to just give in. I know no-one wants me to be thinking like this but it just happens, and I hate it!! I just want things to go back to how they were when I had all my family and I was just a normal high school girl. Thanks for all your support, you've got no idea how much it means to me.
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  #32  
Old May 17th, 2012, 13:55
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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well done crystal for coming on here to tell us how your feeling you said easy to give in don't even think about it you are stronger than that
and think who else would you be letting down your dear mum don't forget how much she loves you she would never want to see you depressed and down she gave you life and all her love and hopes were for you and your sisters future her love shines down on you and will give you courage every morning say to yourself today i will be a bit sronger for my mum my sister my neice all my friends and family but most of all for myself then in the evening be proud of yourself if you have had a day when you've been able to take a small step forward we here are all proud of you crystal i pray you feel our love hazelxxxxxxxx
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  #33  
Old May 18th, 2012, 07:37
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Crystal, you okay? We haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Hope you are up and walking about the world.

What's happening with you now? I'm concerned, but hoping no news means you've had a respite from the bad stuff.

Check in, just let us know you're "home safe."
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  #34  
Old May 18th, 2012, 08:57
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi crystal how are you today came on here just to find out if you have sent a message to let us all know how did you sleep last night and did you do as i asked you to flush the tablets that shouldn't be around down the loo i hope so how is your aunt sister and neice your aunt sounds a really nice person are your cousins being supportive you went out with them the other day have you been out with them since thinking of you i send my love and i am here for you as always like all your friends here on the site hazelxxx
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  #35  
Old May 18th, 2012, 13:55
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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Hi j's Daughter, I'm okay. I've been given horrible anti-depressant tablets to take by my doctor, I had a meeting with social work earlier today and they're thinking of letting me, Amie and my sister go back to dad, over my dead body are those girls going anywhere near that man.
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  #36  
Old May 18th, 2012, 13:59
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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hi hazel, I'm okay, I didn't flush the tablets but I've given them to my uncle who's locked them away. My aunt is trying to keep the three of us calm (I'll pm you the details). My cousins are really supportive, we've been invited to my friends 17th on Saturday so that's something nice for all of us.
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  #37  
Old May 18th, 2012, 16:34
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Crystal, so glad you checked in with us! I was concerned.

Re the anti-depressants...usually I would tell people to be careful about starting on medications. For you, please listen to your doctor, and ask for referral to counselling (or ask your social worker), to help with the next part of your life. Anti-depressants are fine for a short term, to just buy you time to take a breath and make a plan for the next part of your life, but you don't need to be taking pills for the long term. You need to be doing it the tough way—you need, even at your young age, to be working through what you need to work through, with support from the responsible adults around you.

Sad and terribly hard to say, but you need to lean into your feelings, your sadness, and deal with it. Not avoid it by taking pills. Like when we were kids, and we thought there were monsters under the bed at night. The way to deal with that was to say, Okay, monster, I'm coming straight at you, so you'd best just scram! And when we looked, we found no monsters at all. (Only dust, because we hadn't got to dusting under there for a while!)

I think it's wonderful you have your Aunt and Uncle. They do sound very supportive. I am wondering why Mom's pills are still being kept, even under lock and key. These pills are no longer needed by the person they were prescribed for, so why not just flush them? Still, if your Uncle has removed them from access by anyone, and locked them up so the younger ones can't accidentally get at them ...

As to your worry about being placed with Dad, you do need to be telling the right people (Aunt, Uncle, social worker, court people when it comes to that) just WHY you don't want yourself or younger sister exposed to Dad. There has to be an investigation, and certainly at 16, you are old enough to be paid attention to. You have valid, real concerns about your own safety and that of your younger sister. Please, please make sure your concerns are heard by the people who need to hear them. What does your Aunt say to all this?

Please know, people here are listening. We are concerned about you. We care about you. Please keep us posted as to what is going on.

It's going to be one tiny step at a time. I won't fool you. You have a long path ahead of you, and we will be here for you every step of the way. I promise you it will get easier. I promise you that. It will seem as if it is harder before that time comes, though. For now, just please believe me. I have gone through the dark part of the journey you are now starting on, and I came out the other end into the light, and SO CAN YOU.

Trust that we are here for you. Lean on us in the bad times.

I am hoping your Aunt is someone you can talk to, can trust. Hoping she will speak for you and your sister, to tell the social worker you need support. Is your Aunt speaking up for you?

At any rate, please be very careful with the medications you've been given. Please, please keep on talking. To you Aunt, if you can talk to her. To the doctor and the social worker, if you can talk to them. To us here, because you know you can talk to us.

This is now, Crystal. In a month from now, in a year from now — which you cannot see yet down the road — there will be that much more light on the path, and it will not seem so very dark.

What you are feeling now is perfectly normal. We have all been where you are now. Some of us are a few steps further along the path than you are, and we can tell you there is light up ahead. And calm, and peace.

Please, keep on posting here. You have friends here, people who very much want to see you in the lighted places on the path.

Even if all you can do from day to day is to check in here, and let us know "I'm fine," please do that. Like the song says, we're here, we're the wind beneath your wings. We're here ready to hold you up. Okay?
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  #38  
Old May 18th, 2012, 17:02
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi crystal how are you this evening i have been bathing my puppies they are all white and fluffy again what have you been doing today that was a lovely message to you from j s daughter wasn't it it must show you how we all care for you and as you can see we all here have been through a lot ourselves you are well loved have you managed to get anything sorted out yet and are the tablets the doctor gave you and the horrible medicine helping.i will send you a private message also love to you hazelxxxxxxx
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  #39  
Old May 18th, 2012, 17:09
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Puppies, hazel? How many puppies do you have? Oh my gosh, I have just one pet, a cat, and he is a handful all by himself! I call him CFH (Cat from Hel*), he is such a challenge sometimes!
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  #40  
Old May 19th, 2012, 06:51
gumek gumek is offline
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Default fluffy pups

[quote=hazelharris;10083]hi crystal how are you this evening i have been bathing my puppies they are all white and fluffy again what have you been doing today that was a lovely message to you from j s daughter wasn't it it must show you how we all care for you and as you can see we all here have been through a lot ourselves you are well loved have you managed to get anything sorted out yet and are the tablets the doctor gave you and the horrible medicine helping.i will send you a private message also love to you hazelxxxxxxxhazel


hello hazel love, hope your ok today? saterdays always a sad day for all of us, how we miss them,hey? expect your at work, i'm off to help move some furniture then to visit a friend. used to be that there never enough hours in the day, now too many. one day at a time, so so glad for all of us on this forum. speak again soon. xxxx chrissie.
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