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  #1  
Old March 17th, 2008, 19:57
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Default Family Feud

My grandpa died March 12, 2008 & my uncle started being a jerk about an hour after he died. My mom is the executor of the will & he has a problem with that. My grandparents always told us that they didn't want us to argue about it, but he thinks she is cheating him. We found $180.00 in change & she deposited it in grandpa's account. She could have took it but she is too honest to do something like that, but that made my uncle say there was more money & she kept some for herself. I was with her & she didn't take anything. I am so disgusted. All he wants is money. At least the rest of the family is sane.
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  #2  
Old March 18th, 2008, 09:38
Rachele Rachele is offline
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It's a horrible thing when this happens in families. Seems like there's always someone in a family that has to argue about momey or material things and cause distress in the family. I just don't think these people really get it. They concerned with themselves and not for the life that was lost and how the deceased would never want fighting and division among the family. Wills are made up and an executer appointed for a reason. I have not made my will up yet and really need to at my age with children. I will be specific down the last detail and object as to who gets what. I know that's no guarentee that there won't be any disputes but I'll do my best to spell it out in the will.

For you and your mother, let him wallow in his own crap and try to diffuse or distance yourselves from him if you can. Remind him that your granparents would not want this kind of fighting in the family. If he is in the will, let him know he will get what was meant for him. The rest will have to be disgussed as to whether you all want to divide it or put it toward charity so no one gets insulted. My thoughts are with you. Rachele
My family as I mentioned to you are all in a panic rushing to mom's house to take what we want before this woman throws it out. It's unfortunate that it has to be that way but again, we are blood and that woman is not.
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  #3  
Old March 18th, 2008, 14:16
sacback sacback is offline
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I can not speak directly to the situation with your mother and your uncle. I dont know him and do not know what type of character he has.

I do know you see this kind of behavior an awful lot, especially in men. It has been suggested that with these people they can not allow themselves to grieve and instead turn to misdirected anger. In a large number of cases like this it's not really about the money.

That doesn't justify anyone putting ou and your mother through that kind of grief. But, if this is the case with your uncle, maybe he will move past it giving time.
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Old March 18th, 2008, 23:43
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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My uncle has been talking about the money long before this. He has always been selfish. His son lived with my grandparents & now that they are gone he wants to sell the house & put his son in the street. My mom will never have that. Let me tell you, we are not talking about a lot of money. Grandpa worked hard for 43 yrs at his job. He always worried that he wouldn't have anything left to leave us. My mom & I told him we didn't care about money so don't worry but he still did. He also told my mom not to fight about it. She is trying to do what he wanted but my uncle is not helping. He didn't even buy flowers for the funeral. Grandpa did alot for him & he couldn't spend $50 on flowers. My grandparents didn't raise us to be like that, they would give you the shirt off their back. They loved us unconditionally & we knew it. He is tarnishing their memory & it makes me sick. I don't know how much more I can take.
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  #5  
Old March 19th, 2008, 12:20
Rachele Rachele is offline
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Gina, I understand how completely devestated you must feel over the losses of grandparents. I am completely devestated over the loss of my mom as well. I'd like to think that I am facing my grief by feeling all the emotions and letting them out. I am able to function better than I was some months ago when I'd cry at least 4x a day and distance myself from my family. I've gotten more involved in my family but a day does not go by that I don't feel the loss of my mom and what it has done to my family. The woman in my dad's life has complicated my grief and caused more pain but I had to make choices about that. I do not think I will abandon my Dad even though it feels like he abandoned us by putting this woman first. As it stands right now, what she did is unforgivable. You will have to make some choices for yourself as to how much you will let your uncle try to control the situation and make you miserable. You may need to make a stand like I did and stick to it. Also, I hope you can find some peace. Sometimes a third party therapist can help. I did this because I just could not take what was happening in my family.
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  #6  
Old March 19th, 2008, 14:13
sacback sacback is offline
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I didn't realize he had a history of being this way. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. All I can really do is offer ou my prayers for both you and your mother.
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  #7  
Old March 21st, 2008, 11:00
mariatheresa mariatheresa is offline
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I understand completely what's happening in your family situation. When a member of my extended family passed, a lot of people changed face and began caring only about the inheritance. Money can bring out the worst in some people and that's a sad thing.

My advice would be not to take your uncle's opinions to heart. This isn't a time when you should worry about him, it's a time when you should be reflecting about someone's life.
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  #8  
Old March 22nd, 2008, 13:08
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Good news. My mom went to the lawyers & she owns the house so my uncle can get whatever cash is going to him and be done with it, unless he contests the will. He won't get anywhere though. That also means that he can't go to the house & take anything. My mom wants everyone to meet there & take any sentimental objects they may want. That is the right thing to do. My uncle doesn't know any of this yet. I can't wait till he finds out!
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  #9  
Old April 1st, 2008, 15:31
skatss skatss is offline
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How terrible. Families really go at each other sometimes after a death. Siblings think that another sibling is trying to cheat the other. It's terrible. You not only have to try to get over your grandfather's death but you have to go through this as well.

I'm glad that things are working out for your mom now.
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