The Light Beyond Bereavement Forum Bereavement StoreMovieBlogSympathy Ecards
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own...

Go Back   The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums > Coping with grief > Grief recovery
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old March 25th, 2008, 11:00
Nicola Nicola is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 109
Default Flashbacks

I was tidying my bedroom yesterday and i found a little card from my dads funeral in my husbands bedside cabinet, i just put it back where i found it. I dont know if this has stuck in my mind but when i was falling asleep last night, i just started crying thinking about my dad.

I kept seeing his gorgeous blue eyes filled with panic when the doctors told him that his cancer had spread to his brain, he had taken a stroke, so he couldnt speak at this point.

He did manage to say that he did not want to die in hospital but at the end he did die in hospital. He did ask my mum to take him to hospital the day before he died so im not sure if he knew he was going to die.

I hope i didnt disappoint him.

I don't know why i am posting this x
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old March 25th, 2008, 12:22
Rachele Rachele is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 372
Post

Nicola, I still have flashbacks too of my mother before she died. In fact, I had one this morning and it's been a while that I had them. Seeing her on life support was so hard. I don't think my mom knew she's was dying when she first entered the hospital with vommitting symptoms. But when she had the 1st cardiac arrest and was brought to ICU, I saw the fear in her eyes that I'll never forget and the beeping noise when the life support was taking off. Her hospital stay was only 3 days. No one in my family had any idea she would die in the hospital during those days. I know how hard it is and sometimes we are just caught off guard with these flashbacks. Hang in there. My thoughts are with you.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old March 25th, 2008, 16:00
Nicola Nicola is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 109
Default

I hate that bleeping noise too

My husband was watching a film in bed called Flatliners where the people in the film were doctors and doing something to make themselves clinically dead and then bringing themselves back to life so all i could hear was that beeping noise when i was dreaming about me dad, horrible.

It so sad isnt it ? we should really try and focus on the good memories x
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old March 25th, 2008, 23:22
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Bridgeport, CT, U.S.A.
Posts: 236
Default

I will never forget my Grandma's eyes the night she died. They were always a pale blue, but that night there was something different in them. I can't pinpoint exactly what, but it was there. There was fear & confusion, but there was so much more. My grandpa used to say, "I can't forget her eyes", then he would cry. She couldn't speak (tubes in her mouth) I wish we could have heard some last words. Now I also have the last time I saw grandpa alive. My mom & I were crying & when he saw that, he cried. I'm pretty sure it was because we were hurting. He had been through so much, healthwise, he was ready to go. We weren't though. I found some papers from the hosp. today. I think he knew it was coming. I can't believe today makes 2 weeks since he died. I am still a mess over losing grandma & now I lost him too. My mom was close to both of them but since Grandma died she got really close to him, but now she is burying herself with the will and all that stuff so she isn't grieving properly. Now I have to worry about her too.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old March 26th, 2008, 09:25
Nicola Nicola is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 109
Default

You should maybe try and do your grieving just now, it sounds as if your mum is too busy at the moment to grieve properly. I didnt start grieving properly for my dad until about 6 weeks later.

Im pretty sure your mum is busy worrying about you at the same time you are worrying about her x
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old March 26th, 2008, 21:42
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Bridgeport, CT, U.S.A.
Posts: 236
Default

Your probably right Nicola. I just worry about her. There is nobody left but her & my cousin. My uncle is good for nothing. He has done nothing for Grandpa before he died & didn't even show up to make the funeral arrangements. He will show up to sign the check he gets from the lawyer though, I'm willing to bet on that.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old March 27th, 2008, 05:57
Nicola Nicola is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 109
Default

God, there is always one in each family isn't there ? They do nothing for your loved one when they are living but as soon as the will is being organised they show up !!!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:06.


Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at www.thelightbeyond.com