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  #11  
Old May 4th, 2008, 02:01
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Rachele, I had an afterthought. We both have husbands & kids my theory is that we can't sleep because late at night is the only 'me' time we have. Everybody is asleep & that is the time we have to think. I know that I sit & dwell on all the questions that are left unanswered & all the things I want so badly to be able to tell them. I try to remember what we said the last time we spoke or what we did the last time we saw eachother. I know that's why I am awake most of the night & I think that's why you do too. The problem is how do we stop thinking so much & get some sleep? Any suggestions? I'll try anything.
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  #12  
Old May 4th, 2008, 02:23
Rachele Rachele is offline
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I'm still awake at 2oAm. Been like this all weak. Anyway, John is sexy! You should see him in person, even more sexy and his compassion and sense of humor give him the full package. When we won tickets to the studio in NY city, my sister and I must of looked like two deer in the headlights staring at him. This other medium's name is Johnathan Lewis also cute but John Edward hunkier. You know I've never seen Lisa Williams. But you've so right about Silvia Browne. I think she's a fraud too. Not only nasty but doesn't give any specific details like John Edward. She's so vague, I could get up and give readings better than that. I like talking to you. You got a good sense of humor. I got to get some rest have somewhere to go tomorrrow, a family function. My allergies are so bad, I had to put the air condition on to breathe. Not sure what to do about the sleep problem but mind is racing ever night with thoughts about everything from today to the rest of the week. Someone suggested I take a warm bath, like a candle or listen to some relaxing music or read. I do the reading but lately it's not working.

Last edited by Rachele : May 4th, 2008 at 02:28.
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  #13  
Old May 4th, 2008, 02:43
Rachele Rachele is offline
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Yea, I do the same thing. I think about all those things too before she died. I think about my all the things we talked about, laughed about etc and think how could she be gone. Then I become afraid because I worry is she is ok. Then the fears start of her death and about when I will die. I try to find comfort in these spiritual books and some of them do offer comfort providing existance of an afterlife. I really need to believe but I can't seem to. The death of my mom is real and hard to fully accept what I can't see. But all of this as you can see would keep a person up and unable to sleep. I got to find something. This is so not good for me or for you. I took some sleep medication tonight so I talk to you soon.
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  #14  
Old May 6th, 2008, 00:01
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Okay, I have a thought about the reading that you have been doing. Reading is a good way to relax but, should you be reading books about death & the afterlife when that is kind of what is keeping you awake? That is just more fuel for the fire. You need to get a good, steamy romance novel & curl up with a cup of Earl Grey (decaf of course). I know it's hard to get the thoughts out of your head but you have to try. Some of those trashy novels are kind of fun. Just a thought.
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  #15  
Old May 6th, 2008, 04:41
Rachele Rachele is offline
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Awake again. My allergies are horribe over the past week. Thanks for the chuckle in your last post, Gina. To answer your question: Does reading those books on death and afterlife add fuel to the fire? It could. Does it? Most times, no. I asked myself why do I read those books? I read them to find comfort in my mom's death and in the fears I have of death. The books are about people who were declared dead and saw a golden light and in that light they felt peace, comfort and realized they were not dead but still living in another plane we cannot see, but they were alive. That does offer me comfort. I guess I'm trying to brave the storm in a sense.
Over the years, I've had sleeping problems and have become to associate sleeptime with anxiety and fear. When mom died those feelings increased and have forced me to have to examine my fear of death. In examining my fear, I seeked more knowledge and perspective in these books. Should I read these books forever? No, only until their purpose has been served.
I do agree that yes, we need some distraction, something aside from the fears and anxiety. That's where reading or doing something eles comes into play. Maybe reading a good romantic novel would help. In doing that you would be creating an association to sleep which in your case would be funny, inticing and in the long run relaxing. I too need to focus on changing my associaton to sleep to something more comforting. I'm going to try getting some relaxing music to help and maybe I will pick up a trashy romance novel. Hugs, Gina hope we get some better sleep.
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  #16  
Old May 7th, 2008, 01:55
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Rachele, I didn't mean that you shouldn't read those books, especially if they are helping you. I meant that you should read something different before bed. Maybe then you would think about what you were reading as you try to fall asleep. I leave the T.V. on & listen to it as I try to sleep. Or sometimes I try to think of ways to make my uncle miserable. Which is kind of fun. I'm trying to get my mom to sue him for half of grandpa's funeral. I think she just might. I'm a huge Red Sox fan so from April to October I have that to occupy me. Although it's not as easy this year without Grandpa. He was a big Yankee fan & we used to tease each other constantly. Do you like sports?

Anyway, when Grandma died I went to psychic & paranormal web sights. So I understand why you read about the afterlife. It was bittersweet. On one hand having people tell of their experiences gave me hope, but on the other hand I was discouraged that it hasn't happened to me. Maybe someday.
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  #17  
Old May 7th, 2008, 21:10
Rachele Rachele is offline
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Last night I finally slept through the night. I was reading before bed again but try to keep it to a shorter time. I like this one. It's written by a medium in New Zealand. Jenny Crawford is her name. She talked about how she has read for people and the validations that came through.

Mother's Day is nearing and I thought I'd be a complete mess. I was on Monday very tearful and sure I will be when I go to her gravesite. I want to bring or do something speacial, not sure what yet. I know I'm going to bring
a card and a poem I wrote about what she has meant to me. Interestingly, I have felt a calm about mom like she's close by. Someone else in my family has gotten some signs. It's never to late. I hope you will get some more signs. Don't look to hard. It's the simple things that make us say, that's odd.

By the way, I'm your rival Yankee fan. Hope I don't turn to stone conversing with you. Ha! Ha! Rachele
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  #18  
Old May 9th, 2008, 00:16
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Oh Rachele, say it ain't so! Don't you live in R.I.? That's Red Sox territory. I thought it was illegal to live there & like the Yankees. I never thought I could like a Yankee fan, guess I was wrong. Are you a fan who watches every game or just follows them? I am a fanatic. I went so far as to get the logo tattooed on my shoulder. My mom is a fanatic & she raised me the same way. She actually has a whole room dedicated to the Red Sox, from the Red curtains to the rug. Grandpa was a Yankee fan. I miss those conversations with him.

Okay, now to other things. I always went to the cemetary with grandpa on holidays. I guess I will go alone this year. Fathers day is coming pretty fast. The "firsts" are always the hardest. My birthday is next week too. It was hard after grandma died I can't wait to see what I feel like this year. My nephews think I should just deal with it & move on. I can't. Not when I hurt to my very core. You know what I mean. My husband is one of eleven kids & they have dealt with the death of loved ones alot. There are only 5 kids left. They don't understand what it's like to feel alone. My mom & my cousin are all I have left. Okay, I guess I've talked enough for tonight. I will leave you with one last thing...

What do A-Rod & Michael Jackson have in common?

They both wear a glove for no apparent reason.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
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  #19  
Old May 9th, 2008, 22:35
Rachele Rachele is offline
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I'm from Jersey but have not seen them at Yankee stadium. My husband has but there moving the stadium in a few weeks. Ohh what a joke Gina, but I'll let it go for now.

I'm so tired today and the rain is utterely depressing. Mother's Day grows nearer and I think I wish she were here. I wish I could get her back. Will there ever be comfort in her death?

For you, Father's Day coming, your birthday. How difficult it must be for you. How do we get through it? I know we will but I want the peace and comfort and I don't know that it's there or will ever be there. Will we always feel incomplete?
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  #20  
Old May 10th, 2008, 01:20
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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I don't think comfort or peace are the right words. They are the ones that come to my mind too, but after I think about it, I think it is about acceptance. How can I be at peace knowing that I will never see them again? Or will I? Does that make sense? You will accept things as they are eventually, in your own time & when you're ready. In my case, it will be 3 yrs. in October since Grandma died & I still can't believe she is gone. With Grandpa it will be 2 mos. the day after mothers day but somehow it is easier. Grandma, as with your mom were both sudden & totally unexpected. How do you deal with that? As for Grandpa, as active & independant as he was, there were so many medical problems that it was almost a 'relief' that he wasn't having to go through everything he had been going through anymore. He always felt "lousy" & I remember him saying he didn't want to live like that. Am I explaining this right? Basically what I have taken so long to say is that with your mom & my grandma, neither of us understands why it happened. How can we find comfort or peace in something we don't understand?
That is just my opinion, but I have asked myself every question over the last 3 yrs that you are asking yourself now & that is what I have come up with. What do you think, Rachele?

As for signs from them, I have a good one. My cousin called me about 1 a.m. last night because he was scared. He was asleep and the kitchen light went on by itself & woke him up. That's the 2nd time a light went on at grandpa's house.

As for the Yankee joke, what do you mean 'for now'? I said I was sorry. Neither one of us can say to much, we both lost the last 2 games. Of course we lost in the 9th inning & you just lost. Aren't the Yankees moving to the new stadium during the season? Someone told me they weren't moving until next season but I think differently.
Why did I think you were from R.I.? I'm in Yankee territory. Although I am seeing alot more Red Sox fans since 2004. It's not too late to join our side (smile). I saw t-shirts that I want to get for me & my mom, they say
"I would rather my daughter/mother be a prostitute than a Yankee fan"
My family (cousins etc.) meet for breakfast once a month & alot are yankee fans. They would die if we went wearing those.
Alright, I wrote enough for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow.
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