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  #1  
Old July 2nd, 2007, 11:39
SageMother SageMother is offline
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Default The First Time

A few months back someone I know lost a loved one. This person is in their 30's and had never had this experience before and really doesn't understand how to cope.

Are there some things he can do, yes there are books but pagans need to be active, other than meditations? I have helped him with a few of the rituals commonly used by a few of use here, but I want to be sure I am not missing something.
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  #2  
Old July 6th, 2007, 15:06
cassiem0221 cassiem0221 is offline
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I have found that, for me, the best thing was to get back out there. I tried to be alone and it turned out to be just what I didn't need. Try to get him to still do his everyday things..
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  #3  
Old July 26th, 2007, 08:32
Taggart Taggart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiem0221 View Post
I have found that, for me, the best thing was to get back out there. I tried to be alone and it turned out to be just what I didn't need. Try to get him to still do his everyday things..
I think that's good advice. I think I handled my losses pretty well, but I didn't make a point of staying alone. I don't know if that works for some people.
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  #4  
Old August 2nd, 2007, 21:44
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Perhaps he could develop a ritual that's meaingful to him? A few ideas:

*My best friend's favorite drink was a large MacDonald's coke. Every year on her birthday, I buy her a large coke and pour it over her grave. Makes me laugh and cry at the same time!

*This is a ritual we do at hospice. But a few helium balloons and write messages to your loved one. Then release them into the sky to fly free.

*Write a poem or song or essay about your loved one and what they meant to you.

*Write a letter to your loved one. When you are finished, bury it at their graveside or burn it and release the ashes into the air.

*Buy gifts for your loved one on special occasions and then donate them to homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, etc. Or donate money to a cause your loved one would have supported.

*Hold a party in your loved one's honor. Invite friends and family to talk and share memories. My best friend's partner had a "birthday party" for her four months after she died. She served all of my friend's favorite foods and we spent the evening playing her favorite games. Very fun and emotionally satisfying.

I hope some of these ideas help. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss!
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  #5  
Old August 3rd, 2007, 06:54
sandmike123 sandmike123 is offline
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Quote:
*This is a ritual we do at hospice. But a few helium balloons and write messages to your loved one. Then release them into the sky to fly free.
This is a great one. You can write anything on the balloons. If you pissed off because they left you, how much you miss them.........
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  #6  
Old August 3rd, 2007, 21:56
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Default Balloons

We do the balloon ritual at our semi-annual memorial services. We usually have an attendance of ten or fifteen people and get two balloons each. After everyone has finished writing on their balloons, we step outside and release them into the sky. They look so beautiful all sailing away together. It's a truly magical moment in the service.
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  #7  
Old September 6th, 2007, 07:37
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso View Post
Perhaps he could develop a ritual that's meaingful to him? A few ideas:

*My best friend's favorite drink was a large MacDonald's coke. Every year on her birthday, I buy her a large coke and pour it over her grave. Makes me laugh and cry at the same time!

*This is a ritual we do at hospice. But a few helium balloons and write messages to your loved one. Then release them into the sky to fly free.

*Write a poem or song or essay about your loved one and what they meant to you.

*Write a letter to your loved one. When you are finished, bury it at their graveside or burn it and release the ashes into the air.

*Buy gifts for your loved one on special occasions and then donate them to homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, etc. Or donate money to a cause your loved one would have supported.

*Hold a party in your loved one's honor. Invite friends and family to talk and share memories. My best friend's partner had a "birthday party" for her four months after she died. She served all of my friend's favorite foods and we spent the evening playing her favorite games. Very fun and emotionally satisfying.

I hope some of these ideas help. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss!
These are good rituals. I'm not crazy about the balloon one because it's not very environmentally friendly. I talked some friends out of releasing a bunch of balloons at their wedding because those balloons don't actually disappear, they have to go somewhere right? They had little bubble bottles and everyone blew bubbles instead.
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