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  #1  
Old April 20th, 2011, 07:34
262270 262270 is offline
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Location: connecticut
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Default Hell on Earth -Double Whammy

I thank you for giving me this space to escape in. The chance to be with people in the same boat as I'm in. I am truely sory for having to make are aquaintances here & now.

My whole world started crumbling in 2011. I had a feeling this was not to be a good year. So was I right.

My mom who already had many physical problems had been going to the doctors for what she thought was a bad heart. It was determined it was not her bad heart that eventually took her. She developed lung cancer. her fight thank the Lord was short lived- only about a month. She died about 8:00 pm april 5th.

I came home to find my wife of 11.5 years in bed sleeping. She was not with me that night. She had worked all day- She had recently gotton over a sinus infection and she still was not felling well. Concerned for her, I let her rest at home.

She woke up to go to the bathroom and came back in to the room with shortness of breath. I immediately put her cpap machine to her face,got aspirin, blood pressure pills & her asthma inhaler. I called 911 which came with in minutes. there was nothing they could do as so as she lied down on the strecher in the abulance her lack of oxygen stopped her heart. she was given cpr for 20 minutes and resesitated at Yale New Haven Hospital.

Despite every ones efforts, she laid in coma for 9 days with a herniated swollen brain -no oxygen getting to it. She was declared brain dead and one by one her organs shut down until she took he last gasp of air. Despite 2 doctors visits, She had succumbed to phneaumonia which trigger these events. 2 primary family doctors failed to pick up on this.

I stayed in the hospital by her side around the clock for nine days. I slept in a chair facing her hold her hand. I prayed for her till I was delirious from sleep deprevation. I had clergy come almost every day. All her friends and family also prayed for another chance for life. Her fate was sealed.

All this time the ambulance came in every 20 minutes and life star every few hours like clock work. Between the hospital monitor alarms and the contant comotion . I basically lost my mind to survive...

Now I begin the long journey of laying my beloved wife to rest as well as my Mother. This road I'm on... I hope takes me out of this hell on earth

There is a saying " If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger". Obviously he never went through something like this.

I am trying to move forward an inch at a time. Trying to dwell on the beautiful life we had together.

God Bless you all.
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  #2  
Old December 24th, 2011, 17:52
lulu lulu is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 262270 View Post
I thank you for giving me this space to escape in. The chance to be with people in the same boat as I'm in. I am truely sory for having to make are aquaintances here & now.

My whole world started crumbling in 2011. I had a feeling this was not to be a good year. So was I right.

My mom who already had many physical problems had been going to the doctors for what she thought was a bad heart. It was determined it was not her bad heart that eventually took her. She developed lung cancer. her fight thank the Lord was short lived- only about a month. She died about 8:00 pm april 5th.

I came home to find my wife of 11.5 years in bed sleeping. She was not with me that night. She had worked all day- She had recently gotton over a sinus infection and she still was not felling well. Concerned for her, I let her rest at home.

She woke up to go to the bathroom and came back in to the room with shortness of breath. I immediately put her cpap machine to her face,got aspirin, blood pressure pills & her asthma inhaler. I called 911 which came with in minutes. there was nothing they could do as so as she lied down on the strecher in the abulance her lack of oxygen stopped her heart. she was given cpr for 20 minutes and resesitated at Yale New Haven Hospital.

Despite every ones efforts, she laid in coma for 9 days with a herniated swollen brain -no oxygen getting to it. She was declared brain dead and one by one her organs shut down until she took he last gasp of air. Despite 2 doctors visits, She had succumbed to phneaumonia which trigger these events. 2 primary family doctors failed to pick up on this.

I stayed in the hospital by her side around the clock for nine days. I slept in a chair facing her hold her hand. I prayed for her till I was delirious from sleep deprevation. I had clergy come almost every day. All her friends and family also prayed for another chance for life. Her fate was sealed.

All this time the ambulance came in every 20 minutes and life star every few hours like clock work. Between the hospital monitor alarms and the contant comotion . I basically lost my mind to survive...

Now I begin the long journey of laying my beloved wife to rest as well as my Mother. This road I'm on... I hope takes me out of this hell on earth

There is a saying " If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger". Obviously he never went through something like this.

I am trying to move forward an inch at a time. Trying to dwell on the beautiful life we had together.

God Bless you all.
Going through the same, mum died after much much suffering, I was trying to be with her, be at home with my son and hold down my job, heartbroken before it happened, nobody to help. Terry died a week later, the day after mum 's funeral. I got the call whilst at mums clearing after her wake and remember the words 'Lu, Terry has been in a car smash, lulu he didn't make it'...not Terry, the man I lived for, loved so much, felt his love, we had been through so much together, so much. Julie was driving, she lost the battle the next morning. I sat trying to wade through mums paperwork with tears rolling a few days later. We buried them both a few days ago, Terry was loved all over the UK and they came from near and far. His ex wife and daughters took over and I was pushed away, still am. I live in a tiny village, he is buried in the old churchyard a hundred feet from my cottage.........so near but so so far. I dont know who I am greiving for anymore...
Tonight I lay in the bath listening to christmas festivities and cried, no point going on, thoughts of sleeping pills and a bottle of rioja but I have a son upstairs and I have to live for him, he has only me, but how do I do this? how?
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  #3  
Old January 7th, 2012, 15:06
Marjatta Marjatta is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Dear 262270,

I am so, so sorry. Yes, hell on earth must aptly describe what you're going through right now. The loss of probably the two most important people in your life ... all at once.

I like how you said, "I am trying to move forward an inch at a time." How true that is. It's the only way one can get through this incredibly painful grief.

You lovingly stayed by your wife's side during her struggle to survive. I can't even begin to imagine the emotional wear and tear it must have caused, especially since you were already dealing with the fresh grief of losing your beloved mother.

At times like these, I always tend to ask the why question. But I'm never answered, at least not in a tangible way. Yet I strongly sense there is a reason for everything that happens to us, and perhaps we're just not meant to know those reasons yet. I also believe that our loved ones still guide us. We only need to ask.

Truthfully, I'm much less afraid of death now than I used to be. After Shaun passed away, I knew with absolute certainty that he was in the exact place that I will eventually be some day, and I totally embrace that thought. After we've done everything we're meant to do on this earth, I believe that then it will be our time too. Until then, all we can do is live our own lives to the best of our abilities and pray for guidance.

I hope your broken heart will soon find some comfort and peace. And we're always here to listen. Thank you for sharing, and God bless you too.

Marjatta
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