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Old November 9th, 2009, 12:20
confused-mum confused-mum is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Question In limbo

I hope this is the right place to post this.

I am in deperate need of advice. My boyfriend's ex is dying of cancer but they have a son together. Because he lives with his mum it has not seemed appropriate to arrange meetings and she does not want it and her needs must be respected. I would not want to feel like I was already being replaced if I was in her situation.

I have a further complication in that I have my own young son. And yet another in that my boyfriend and I live at opposite ends of the country.

My own son knows my boyfriend and I know will accept him as a Dad and probably even cope with relocating down south. But he is due to start school in 2 years and I want that to go smoothly.

As far as my boyfriends son is concerned I am not sure how to introduce myself to him after his mum dies. How long to wait. How to start introductions. How to introduce the idea of me living with his dad as his mum used to. And other pieces of advice I have not considered.

There is also having to introduce myself to my boyfriends family and particularly the family of his ex. And also if I relocate there is the matter of my own family who I am very close to...although this will be easier I think.

I myself was adopted around the age of my boyfriend's son and also I have 2 younger brothers and sisters who were adopted too and so I am familiar with introductions with emotionally damaged children. But this is different I know.

I am sorry for waffling but I hope anyone who manages to finish this can offer any advice...no matter how small... , information and advised literature (online or books) I can read?

Thanks for reading this and thank you in advance for any help you may be able to give me.

My son is due to start school in 2 years and I want that to go smoothly.
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