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  #1  
Old October 18th, 2012, 20:21
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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Default a year of missing you darren

a year has now gone since my beloved darren passed to heaven i wish i could say to others all is better all pain has gone and as i look back to all the different phases of grief it feels difficult to say what the year has achieved most of it goes by and we just go through the motions of living like a robot it still feels as if i am in anothers shoes living someone elses life not mine anymore nothing can ever be the same again but with the passing months an acceptance has come to me that this is how it is and the time is coming when i have to try and live again not just exsist Darren had a dreadful illness that is part of why it takes longer to overcome his passing but he fought hard for life each day is a blessing to us and we must not waste what we have which was denied to those we love they loved us too and in loving would wish with all their hearts we could find some happiness without them just carry on with their love always in our hearts this is what love is all about caring for another more tham we care for ourselves and Darren and i had so much love he was a wonderful gentle man intelligent caring honest always funny i miss his humour more than anything
i am in gratitude that he was part of my life life is a miricle when we meet someone who we love who becomes our soulmate best friend and our whole life many seek all their lives for such a love and never find it so today more than anything i thank God for the life of Darren and after my vision i am sure more than anything i know i will see him again one day thanyou to all my friends here especially chrissie dave tom chris lottie everyone you have all helped me so much xxxxxxxxxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_uBQ...eature=related

Last edited by hazelharris : October 19th, 2012 at 19:59.
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  #2  
Old October 19th, 2012, 14:02
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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to all my friends thank you for the messages
well i coped today overslept this morning as i didn't manage to go to bed until early morning i had some tears and went to the cemetary with flowers somewhere i don't usually go to as i never feel a presence or a closeness to anyone there to me it's just their remains i gave some comfort to a dear lady who had lost her son it felt like a meeting place for grieving souls
i took mt 3 pups and we stood there in the rain i arranged the flowers and said the lords prayer and thought what shall i do now so i stood there and sang a place in the sun now i have the worst singing voice in the world and stood there warbling away and clear as a bell i heard darren say for Gods sake shut that noise up and go home and i could visualise him as he always did when i did something mad he would put his hand to his head shaking it as if there was no hope for me and i walked away laughing so much with tears in my eyes
not a day for laughter i know but Darren made me laugh every day when we were here together what better way to commemorate his passing with tears of laughter
love hazelxxxx

i have just told my eldest son this story when he asked me how i coped at the cemetary
he said Darren would also have said -- see what i have to put up with and it touched me so much as he always said those words in jest to everyone when i did something slightly mad so i share those words with you

see what he had to put up with xxxxx

Last edited by hazelharris : October 20th, 2012 at 05:51.
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  #3  
Old October 20th, 2012, 15:34
Mart Mart is offline
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Default Well done you

Hello hazel well done for getting through a very emotional day , I bet your Darren would have loved the singing how ever bad it was , it properly cleared the cats out of the cemetery , only joking your Darren would have been so proud of you xx
Mart
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Old October 20th, 2012, 18:43
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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thank you mart it would have cleared out the rats as well many people have asked me to speak at a funeral but no one would ever ask me to sing i'm that bad i belong on the x factor the one that they play at the end to make everyone laugh they are so bad xx
Darren wouldn't have liked it at all thats why he told me to go home
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  #5  
Old October 21st, 2012, 17:17
Mart Mart is offline
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Default No one x

No one : to wake up next too
No one : to look at when you open your eyes
No one : to say good morning darling too
No one : to race to the bathroom
No one : to share breakfast with
No one : to kiss goodbye and say have a good day
No one : to call or text to tell them how your day is going
No one : to ask what's for dinner or your running late
No one : to greet you on your return
No one : to share your meal with and chat
No one : to cozy up on the settee with and watch a bit of t.v
No one : to kiss goodnight and cuddle up in bed
No one : To Love

I wish the no ones could come back for us x
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  #6  
Old October 21st, 2012, 18:01
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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dear mart this is all so true perhaps we can add a few more to your list as i know you could have written hundreds but don't forget one thing the (no one to love) you love Helen and always will the love is just long distant now and your golden thread of love will forever bind you together but i know what you mean
these are some of mine
no one : to turn off the lights
no one ;to do something funny to and make them smile
no one :no sound of their car come down the drive
no one;to zip up my raincoat
no one :to work the remote control
no one :to go out and buy a surprise present for
no one :to say shall we go out tonight
no one :to argue with at the cinema which film we will see
no one : to go shopping with (and pay)
no one :to mend everything that breaks down
no one :in the house
no one :to say i love you to
no one :to share the ups and downs of life with
no one :to look on with pride and love to know there mine
no one :to lock the doors at night
no one :to ask there opinion about with all thats going on in the world
no one :to moan at when they are watching james bond for the 100 time
no one :to put the rubbish out
no one :to make you feel the most loved person in the world
love hazelxx
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Old October 21st, 2012, 18:12
Mart Mart is offline
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Default So many

Hello hazel
As soon as I sent it I thought of so many more , you have covered lots of them
And I think there are still more !! I think the one that really hurts is hearing them say they love us and knowing we was special to them xx
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  #8  
Old November 25th, 2012, 14:59
Chaka Chaka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hazelharris View Post
of it goes by and we just go through the motions of living like a robot it still feels as if i am in anothers shoes living someone elses life not mine anymore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_uBQ...eature=related
Thank you for writing the one-year update. This excerpt could not better explain how I feel!
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