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Old April 2nd, 2008, 10:37
Bonkers Bonkers is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NE corner of Kansas
Posts: 32

I think it is different for each person and their family and the way things are handled. You just have to know deep inside of you what to do.

Personally, I would explain to my child, that --first -- there wasn't anything that anybody did that made a person do what they did. That it was a decision and that we can't change that decision or bring that person back but that there are other ways that problems can be worked out and that whenever they had a problem to come to Mom or Dad and we'll talk about it until they feel better. I don't think I would hide the fact of the suicide or cover it up. I would put it out in the truth and let the child grow up knowing that there are things like death in life and that there are ways to get through things. To me--it is an opportunity to help them learn how to handle death and how to handle the news of suicides. IF the child is younger than what I think is capable of understanding--I'd just make the statement that the person chose to leave sooner than they were supposed to and that if they had a question about it to be sure and ask me and we can talk about it. But I wouldn't dwell on the situation if the child is really young. Children are much more resilient than we give them credit for as mentioned in the above post. Sometimes children are wiser than adults---as they have a true pure faith that has not been tarnished yet.

Last edited by Bonkers : April 2nd, 2008 at 10:39.
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Old November 29th, 2008, 18:39
samantha samantha is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1

When My husband passed away - I struggled as to what to say and my children were 4 and 7 at the time - I decided to tell them that daddy had been ill and died. It wasnt a lie as he must of been ill to have done what he did. I just didnt go into detail. Now my children are 10 and 13 and the oldest one questioned a year or two ago - and I sat her down and I said that he had 'done it to himself' due to him being ill. I didnt go into how or where and she didnt ask. We will cross the next bridge when we get to it.
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Old November 30th, 2008, 02:21
Dancer Dancer is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 200

I agree with telling them but they donít need all the details. I was 19 and my sister was 18 when our dad killed himself. There were three younger ones 10, 8, and 7, and when they were older they went through an angry phase because they were told he had a heart attack. It is a very hard decision to make under those circumstances.
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Old March 25th, 2009, 17:12
Emily Emily is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 3

I would tell the children, when they do find out they will be heart broken but it is better you tell them now than leave it. Someone close to me has commited suicide recently, she had a son 10 and a daughter 15, they have had a tough couple of weeks, but the 10 year old doesn't understand that his mam is never coming home. The daughter 15 was bad for a couple of days and then has continued as normal. I am a little worried about her, but she doesn't want to talk about her mum. Just tell them they may get anrgy in the future.
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