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  #1  
Old June 10th, 2007, 15:28
moonmagick moonmagick is offline
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Do you think it is harder to cope with the death of a loved one if they took their own life for whatever reason? I have only known one person who committed suicide, and I was so young when it happened, I really didnt understand very well. I do remember everyone around me seemed so lost though. It seems like not being able to understand what they were going through and feeling would make it worse to cope with than a death that was at least "explainable" for lack of a better term.
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  #2  
Old June 10th, 2007, 18:07
tater03 tater03 is offline
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I think it would be harder in that I know I would be wondering what I could have done to have helped this person not feel so deperate that they needed to take their own life. Alot of times when this happens there is alot of shock because people had no idea that someone was considering committing suicide.
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  #3  
Old July 17th, 2007, 07:12
Taggart Taggart is offline
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Originally Posted by tater03 View Post
Alot of times when this happens there is alot of shock because people had no idea that someone was considering committing suicide.
I agree with that, and there are also cases where someone's attempted suicide before, and the surviving loved ones feel guilt, wondering what they could have done differently to save the person.
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  #4  
Old July 17th, 2007, 18:45
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Suicides are very hard losses to deal with. There's all the guilt that naturally accompanies grieving, only it's multiplied by about 1000 because everybody thinks that surely if they had only done something or not done something the person wouldn't have been driven to such desperate measures (untrue--but hard for the survivors to grasp).

And then, as if the personal burden isn't enough, there's the social stigma. Even if people are too polite to make a comment (and a surprising number aren't) you know they're wondering about the details and about why the person did it.

Trying to explain suicide to any surviving children is very difficult, too, and whether it's genetics or environment, the close people of relatives who commit suicide have a higher risk of themselves becoming suicidal.

The person who is suicidal usually recognizes none of this and may even think they're doing their family a favor. But in reality, they're only leaving behind a huge, painful wound that will never completely heal.
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  #5  
Old July 17th, 2007, 21:41
SageMother SageMother is offline
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This is a very tough call, because some of how a person handles the suicide of another stems from how they view self determination.

I would be heartsick if one of my sons committed suicide, but by the same token, I feel a person has the right to make these sorts of decisions about their lives.
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  #6  
Old July 20th, 2007, 14:47
janus76 janus76 is offline
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i recently tried to take my own life and now my partners brother actually has and it just brings it home to me what it would have been like if i had actually succeded
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  #7  
Old July 21st, 2007, 19:27
sandmike123 sandmike123 is offline
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Originally Posted by SageMother View Post
This is a very tough call, because some of how a person handles the suicide of another stems from how they view self determination.

I would be heartsick if one of my sons committed suicide, but by the same token, I feel a person has the right to make these sorts of decisions about their lives.

I agree with this. As heartbroken as I would be if someone I loved felt they needed to do this, it is ultimately their decision.
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Old July 25th, 2007, 23:45
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SageMother View Post
This is a very tough call, because some of how a person handles the suicide of another stems from how they view self determination.

I would be heartsick if one of my sons committed suicide, but by the same token, I feel a person has the right to make these sorts of decisions about their lives.
I agree with you SageMother. Ultimately, people do have the right to self-determination, even if we might wish they would make different choices. During the times in my life when I've been suicidal, it's always helped me to have someone encourage me to hang on just a little longer. My best friend used to say to me, "You can always kill yourself tomorrow, you know." But sometimes even hanging on a minute more is just too painful.
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  #9  
Old August 12th, 2007, 08:39
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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I lost a dear friend to suicide a few years ago. My first reaction was: why didn't he call me and tell me there was something wrong? I never suspected he would even consider such a move. He would call me before and we would talk out troubles and we would feel better. Why not that last time?

My second thought was anger. It took me years to quit being angry with him for putting so many loved ones through this grief. He had godchildren that he left behind and I was angry that he never considered how the parents were going to explain the the kids that their hero, the man that they thought was the bravest, funniest, and most amazing person took his own life. We all worry that this may plant a 'suicide seed' in their heads and they may consider this when they get upset.
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  #10  
Old January 19th, 2008, 23:56
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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While I agree that the decision to end your life is up to you, they should also consider the feelings of those left behind. At least leave a note to answer the questions that their loved ones need answered. I have a friend who's 27 y.o. son died in his sleep a few months ago. She went to wake him and he was dead. Nobody expected it & noone has answers. She will never get past all the wondering.
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