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  #21  
Old December 14th, 2007, 15:36
ammulu ammulu is offline
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It is even more hard when you don't really know whether it was accident or not. I have one of my friend who worked as a lecturer and she looked just amazing but she just fell off her apartment on to the electric wires and expired that happened just with 4-5 months of her marriage. Till date it is not known what caused her death, some say accident and others say no... God knows what it is but it really hurts to lose her in such a worse way.
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  #22  
Old December 30th, 2007, 09:18
Charles & Laurie Charles & Laurie is offline
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Default Loss Of Our 18 year Old Son Jason

We lost our son Jason on the 8th of December, 2007 in a mini bike accident. 2:10 am came the knock no parent ever wants at their door. We had to identify our son at the accident only 4 - 5 blocks away from home. In some ways it has brought us all closer together but in some ways it feels as though we are torn apart. The only reason we got through Christmas so far is because of the other children. We have an 11 year old daughter who is angry because the last time she saw her brother they had an argument. She tried to hold things in and be strong but she finally broke down. I hate to say it but we are glad she did. Our 20 year old son is angry because he believes there was something more to it and that he no longer has his brother. They had so many plans. We as parents are angry, hurt, saddened and feeling lost. Never been through this before with our child. Been through this almost 10 years ago when I lost my half brother when he was 21 and most recently losing my grandfather, but not our child. We don't know how to cope and we don't know which way to go. We are hoping joining this forum assists us in our dealing with our loss.
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  #23  
Old December 30th, 2007, 13:01
Rachele Rachele is offline
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Loosing my mother in August, 2007 caught us totally from left field. What should have been according to the surgeon ,a simple operation to repair a hernia resulted in her death less than 2 weeks later. She developed an infection that the hospital did not pick up on or act earnestly. This lead to sepsis and her death within days. She was on life support and we did not say our goodbyes to her. It was so unexpected, and our family is so devestated. We all don't know how to cope either. Some of us are argueing and that makes things difficult on top of the physical loss. I am so sorry for everyone's losses here and for the post prior to mine for the loss of your son.
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  #24  
Old December 30th, 2007, 18:53
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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Before my Grandma died, I used to read the obits & wonder why people would write that an 80 y.o. person 'died suddenly'. I guess I figured at that age you would expect it. After Grandma, a very active 83 y.o., went to the e.r. for back pain & we heard nothing to contradict that, until the middle of the night when we got a call that she was dying, it made me really understand what 'died suddenly' means. It has been 2 yrs. & I am still devastated.
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  #25  
Old December 31st, 2007, 07:20
Charles & Laurie Charles & Laurie is offline
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Default Loss Of Our 18 year Old Son Jason

Here it is, the eve of 2008. What do we do? I wish there were instructions to follow on this. So frustrated because every year we had all the kids with us ringing in the New year except for the past couple since they discovered girls. Then we had minimum of 2. This may sound crazy but we are going to have New Year 12:00 at the cemetery just so we can all be there. I don't know if this is sad or if it's just something we feel we need to do. Are we turning a page or are hanging onto the one that's open? I feel for anyone that has to lose a loved one and we would never wish this upon our worst enemy. There is so much to say about what is happening with us during this time but I don't want to write a book. I guess paragraphs are better than nothing. To all of you that has lost a loved one in 2007 or ever ... May God Bless you and yours and I pray for all of us that 2008 will be better.
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  #26  
Old December 31st, 2007, 11:03
ginahunt3 ginahunt3 is offline
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I am sorry about the loss of your son. I know that you would love to greet the new year with your son, but you don't need to go to the cemetary to do that. He is with you always. It is the package he came in that is in the cemetary, the best part of him, his spirit, will always be with you no matter what you do or where you are.
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  #27  
Old February 13th, 2009, 11:50
fionad fionad is offline
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I know Im responding to a very old post but I have to agree with it so much I had to write! Being with someone who has died isnt about being with their remains.

My brother was cremated and sits in a box in my parents house, I feel nothing when I look at that box. The games console beside it and the naked lady poster above it remind me much more of the boy that used to be there.

This will sound silly (and wont make sense to anyone who hasnt been to Scotland) but my brother used to drink Buckfast. I think he was being ironic and trying to prove you shouldnt judge a book by its cover. Anyway the stuff is disgusting and before I wouldnt been seen dead with it. Now when I want to remember him I have a little bucky (from the bottle of course!) and found out recently that my parents have done the same before!

The best way to be close to someone thats gone is through the silly little things, I dont go near graveyards anymore, I want to remember the places he went when he lived not the places he went once he died.
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  #28  
Old March 6th, 2009, 00:54
Rachele Rachele is offline
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I really do think that it's the sudden and unexpectedness of the loss. that makes it that much harder to cope and accept. None of us want to see or loose our loved ones to death but when they are taking at a time no one expected, it brings such a great deal of shock and lingering disbelief. It is hard to get to the phase of accetance. I may never accept my mom's death, what happened to her with the docs, not getting to speak to her on life support, hear her last works, see her eyes open. Nothing but the sound of death,when the life support was taking off. My mother only 65, should have had more years like many other woman her age into 70's, 80's and some 90's. I think I would have been more able to accept that kind of a loss, where she was sick, had a full life and ready to die. I am just resigning myself that I may never get over the loss of her. At best I live for what I can now, though my heart is aches without her here.
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  #29  
Old June 17th, 2009, 18:37
butterfly01 butterfly01 is offline
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I absolutely agree. I have found it incredibly hard to cope with the fact my mum just passed away 2 months ago from a sudden and fatal heart attack - we did not expect it! She was 67 and I am quite young. I feel it is the hardest thing I have to do and I am so unsure how to go about all this. This is the first big sense of loss I have had and I was so close to her. Any ideas anyone?
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  #30  
Old June 18th, 2009, 08:18
pmadams pmadams is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butterfly01 View Post
I absolutely agree. I have found it incredibly hard to cope with the fact my mum just passed away 2 months ago from a sudden and fatal heart attack - we did not expect it! She was 67 and I am quite young. I feel it is the hardest thing I have to do and I am so unsure how to go about all this. This is the first big sense of loss I have had and I was so close to her. Any ideas anyone?
Butterfly01 , I agree that the unexpectedness of a death makes it so much more difficult to accept. I wrote that very thing in my blog. I am writing a book about real letters from people to those who have passed and many of the letters that have been submitted to me are from people whose loved ones left this world suddenly and unexpectedly. These people are hurting so badly. Some people say life is not fair, but I say death is not fair. Not when it can come at any second, without warning, and just shatter your world.

Hope things get better for you.
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