The Light Beyond Bereavement Forum Bereavement StoreMovieBlogSympathy Ecards
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own...

Go Back   The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums > Dealing with death > When someone you love is dying
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old November 26th, 2011, 06:28
victoriadip victoriadip is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1
Unhappy My partner's daughter

my partner who i love dearly has been preparing for the loss of his daughter for almost 6 years. she has a very rare genetic disease. in the last two weeks she has been hospitalised and he is expecting to lose her very quickly now. she is suffering a lot and naturally he is finding this extremely difficult.

our relationship was wonderful, we had plans for the future and everything was going great. but in these last few weeks, which i was prepared for from the start, he has decided that he has no longer got a hold of his own emotions and is pushing me away - he hasnt even let me visit. he says he cant talk about our future (even though i dont ask him to) all he can focus on is his daughter. ive told him that this is exactly what he should be focused on, i understand entirely and im there as a support to him whenever he needs me.. but he still seems to be pulling away. what should i do? i want to give him space, but i cant face losing him.

just a little on my background - i have lost my father and a baby within the last three years.

please give me some advice.. any advice... thank you xx
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old December 3rd, 2011, 15:13
hamilton hamilton is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 97
Default

I am so sorry for your losses and this difficult time. If your relationship is meant to be it will be. If he asks for space, give it to him. I really doubt you will lose him over this. As you say it's understandable that he's pulling away but I think not so much pulling away from you as pulling towards his daughter. Give it time.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old December 10th, 2011, 11:28
cljm cljm is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 95
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by victoriadip View Post
my partner who i love dearly has been preparing for the loss of his daughter for almost 6 years. she has a very rare genetic disease. in the last two weeks she has been hospitalised and he is expecting to lose her very quickly now. she is suffering a lot and naturally he is finding this extremely difficult.

our relationship was wonderful, we had plans for the future and everything was going great. but in these last few weeks, which i was prepared for from the start, he has decided that he has no longer got a hold of his own emotions and is pushing me away - he hasnt even let me visit. he says he cant talk about our future (even though i dont ask him to) all he can focus on is his daughter. ive told him that this is exactly what he should be focused on, i understand entirely and im there as a support to him whenever he needs me.. but he still seems to be pulling away. what should i do? i want to give him space, but i cant face losing him.

just a little on my background - i have lost my father and a baby within the last three years.

please give me some advice.. any advice... thank you xx
Victoriadip,
Your partner may need every ounce of energy--every ounce of emotion he has, and even what he doesn't have---to deal with the losing of his daughter. Indeed he may be pulling himself away, and therefore you feel he is pushing you away---it may simply be his way of isolating himself from the harsh reality of what he is facing. Could also be too---not wanting to be close to anyone---not wanting to love so much----and then to lose that love as he is now. It may be his way of not wanting the the pain and suffering of hurt anymore.

Be patient----he has the right to feel any way he wants. Try to look and understand from his perspective and not your own. Really---he is not dealing with HIS life---he is dealing with losing his daughter's life.

There is nothing you can do---except "be there for him", if and when he needs you. Let him have his choosing of it...what he needs, not what you might need. The issue is what is best for him.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old December 18th, 2011, 13:13
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534
Default

Shalom in Yeshua VictoriaDip, I am sorry to hear about your losses, which may be tending to make you feel a little insecure. Please don't worry about your partner at this time as he is focused on one thing at the moment. If your relationship is based on solid foundations it will be fine.

When he has seen his daughter and comes home to you, say nothing just offer him a hug. This will speak volumes.

May God bless you
Tom
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:27.


Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at www.thelightbeyond.com