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  #11  
Old January 9th, 2009, 22:37
poojane poojane is offline
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I wanted to let you guys know that I took the advice and let a member of the family know how much this all is hurting me and the kids. I did fianlly get a response and an apology. Said that I can email or call anything and they would get back to me as soon as possible. This is a big step. So far most of the chat is about what they are doing and so on. but at least I heard from someone. thanks for the advice. So I am buyin and it is hugs all round.
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  #12  
Old January 11th, 2009, 03:26
Dancer Dancer is offline
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That's great to hear. I hope you hear from other family members soon. It pays to keep knocking at the door until someone answers.
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  #13  
Old January 18th, 2009, 23:31
poojane poojane is offline
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Default well that's over

I guess the door was not truly open for me.
things turn around rapidly and then become all about them. I told my husband that when there is a death (any kind) I need to talk and talk and talk about it to everyone. Emotionally I want to run up and down the streets telling people what has happened and how lost I am. I want someone to listen and to share in the remembering of the person that I have lost. Am I normal feeling this way? Is it because I am alone in the world when it comes to sharing the past things and people that I have had in my life. Talking to my husband of 36yrs just doesn't seem right, poor guy he is so understanding and listens but this is all before he was in my life. God how I wish my mom was here. As much as she hated Teddy she knew him when I did and we could share it together...Oh by the way I don't really talk about it to people on
the street.

Last edited by poojane : January 19th, 2009 at 21:54.
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  #14  
Old January 19th, 2009, 06:35
Dancer Dancer is offline
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You’re simply looking for comfort and for someone to just get how you feel, but sometimes people are just too wrapped up in their own problems and can't see past them. No one else feels like you do how can they, they are not you. We all have memories of people we cared about in the past but they are our memories there is no value in sharing them, but keeping them in a special place within us - priceless.

There is something you can do, you can comfort yourself. Write about the person, your feelings, your pain and anything else that comes to mind. Do nice things for yourself in their memory like buying some flowers and enjoying them, walking in the park and remember the nicer things about them, look for books they may have liked, listen to music they liked. The list goes on. The important thing is to be gentle with yourself.

Think about your husband, imagine how he feels watching you grieving and not being able to help you. Take care
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  #15  
Old January 19th, 2009, 21:51
poojane poojane is offline
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My husband is the greatest. He is the one who came to me to let me know that grieving is what I am suppose to do now. That this man was a part of me at one time and father of my children. That I loved him wholly and must take the time to miss him. He let me know that he understands and that he will be beside me every step. I had been trying to hide it all because I thought it was wrong.
Thank you for you kind words they are just what was needed. To know that I am doing just what any normal person would do is comforting. I also find comfort in Art so I have started drawing again and am working on the our youngest daughter. I then would like to do a large peice with their father at the top and stager each one of the girls on down. It's a start, wish me luck, I will keep you posted.
Hugs
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  #16  
Old January 20th, 2009, 18:08
Dancer Dancer is offline
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That sounds like a plan. Good for you. Good luck and take care.
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  #17  
Old January 29th, 2009, 00:00
poojane poojane is offline
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I have finished all the drawings and am ready to move on into the placement part of things. then today I feel so low and sad missing him being in this world even if we didn't have contact. Now no energy just want to set again and look out the window. I miss him so.
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  #18  
Old January 29th, 2009, 12:25
Dancer Dancer is offline
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You have to go through the process. All you can do is try to keep really busy and let it run it's course, and look forward to a day when you can remember without feeling so sad. Take care of you.
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  #19  
Old March 17th, 2009, 21:35
poojane poojane is offline
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Default I feel Bi polar

Gee with all the information that I have read about being bi polar, it looks and feels about the way I feel these days. I know when I will be really down. It is when I have felt like my old self. I do keep busy and try to be there for my kids when in fact I think that I really need them to be there for me. My world has gotten smaller by 1 person passing but it feels like everyone left town. I am going step by step through this process but it is terribly lonely and painful. Nothing will ever be the same again. He has left us one last time.
Just when we were just getting to know him again. His youngest was talking to him regularly but they had seen one another yet. He left us before she was born. She needed to take it slow and yet it will be never, she suffers so.
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