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  #1  
Old October 29th, 2012, 10:47
Countryastheyget Countryastheyget is offline
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Default I'm still in shock I believe.



This picture was my Mom's and my last picture taken together, it was taken for our church directory. My name is Melanie and I have no idea if I will ever get past what has happened. On April 30, 2011, my husband walked from the local bar to my Mom's home, shot his way in her back door clipping her with a bullet in her leg, she managed to make it to the kitchen to call police before he shot her again in her side. She was able to tell police on the phone, "He's shot me." I was getting his van to give back to him when I heard the shots, I was that close, at first I thought they were fireworks, that was until I heard all the emergency vehicles & I said to myself, that's too close, so I jumped back into Mom's blazer & rushed back over to her street only to find police had it blocked off & were putting their vests on, they wouldn't tell me if it was my Mom's home so I drove to the street below Mom's, hopped 3 fences in the wooded area and was standing in Mom's back yard getting ready to sprint up to her house when a police officer in the same wooded area started screaming at me to get in my home. I pointed at Mom's and said, " That is my home!" He rushes over to me and grabs my wrist kinda pulling toward the ground, he was just trying to make sure we didn't get shot because my husband Robbie was shooting at everyone & everything around, including EMS workers. He got on his radio and said, " I have the daughter." That moment I knew for a fact my Momma was in danger. He made sure I was outta harms way so I got back in Mom's truck and drove around to the other side of her street which was blocked off as well. That is where I spent the next four horrific hours of my life. Robbie had barricaded himself in Mom's home & wouldn't let anyone near. He kept telling police to come closer, he shot at the ambulance workers that tried to help Mom. After a four hour stand-off, police shot two cans of tear gas in the house & that is when Robbie shot himself in the head. He died two days later at UAB when they took him off life support.
A magazine called FullHouse in the UK published my story just recently. I don't know why but I thought it might would've helped me move on or not hurt as much, but it hasn't. My Momma was my everything, and I very much loved my husband, looking back I have no idea why, cause it seems he would hurt my feelings mostly.
Everyone in Mom's family blame me totally, from my brothers to aunts and cousins. Then there's the Smith family in VA.Beach that blame me too. I went from having a loving, forgiving, praying, sweet, friend for a Momma to being left all alone in this cruel world. I was tormented, blamed and ridiculed by everyone that knew my Mom. Even the people at our church looked at me with what I felt was blame. But hey, I blame myself too. There has not been one single day since it's happened that I haven't cried and sobbed uncontrollably and said, " I'm so sorry Mom." I'm sorry that I loved my husband so much that I wanted him to move here to AL. I'm sorry I didn't listen to my gut or heart or whatever when I went to get him & help him move down here. In fact, I'm sorry I ever met that murdered that destroyed my everything. I had no idea he was capable of doing such a evil thing. The investigator said to me & my brothers that they believe I was the target. Robbie murdered my Momma because he knew how much I loved & needed her, he knew killing her would be just as good as killing me if not better cause I'd have to live with it. Well he was right. He left a blood splattered note on Mom's kitchen table that only read, " Mel this was not a joke " That was it, not anything like, I love you & can't live without you or you are to blame, or see what happens when you mess with me, nothing but " Mel this was not a joke " Did he honestly think that's what I thought? The Sunday before that tragic night we had went to church, it was Easter Sunday. After church him & I went to Walmart & got Easter baskets for my Mom & Aunt Katheryn who had been staying with Mom, Mom was taking care of her, she was really a cousin & not an Aunt. But anyway, I remember Mom smiling saying she hadn't had an Easter basket in over 40 years. I MISS HER SO MUCH IT FEELS LIKE I'M GONNA DIE, I WANNA DIE. MY MOM'S LIFE WAS WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN MINE. SHE WAS A TEACHER OF THE SUNSHINE LADIES CLASS AT HER CHURCH, SHE WAS A RETIRED ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER, SHE WAS A MOTHER, FRIEND, CONFIDANT, SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING.
I'm sorry, I can't write anymore right now.

Shattered, Broken, & Lost.
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  #2  
Old October 29th, 2012, 13:55
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua Countryastheyget, I am so sorry to hear your horrific story. Know that I have already said a prayer for you to be comforted.

You are not responsible for this wicked act of violence! You are not to blame for the actions of someone else. Your family should and will realise this once they get over the shock of what happened.

You have told us a lot about the event, but not what caused it. (that's if you know of course) Perhaps you could tell us what happened just before this incident. Was there some sort of domestic or row between them or you and your husband. This will just allow us to understand.

I will hold you in my prayers this evening an hope that you come back and talk to us. We will help you come to terms with this, and you should know that we care about you.

May God bless you
Tom
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  #3  
Old October 29th, 2012, 14:36
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua my friend, I have read your other thread on the same subject. Please don't allow those half brothers to destroy you.

They cannot take away the love you had for your mum or the love she showed you. Focus on her love and have nothing to do with these people for the time being.

May God bless you
Tom
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  #4  
Old November 4th, 2012, 19:18
Lottie Lottie is offline
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Default Thoughts are with you

So sorry to read your story, my thoughts are with you. Please please don't blame yourself.. I can't relate to your situation.. everyone's loss is unique.. but my friend died in an accident and I blamed myself and it tore me apart. Please know that this isn't your fault, someone with their own thoughts and control of themselves made an awful decision, not you.

The shock is horrific.. and you think it should go quickly but its effects can last and don't help you to grieve properly. I went to see my doctor after a while, and also someone who specialises in emotional freedom techniques. It wasn't something i'd ever usually have considered, but I was desperate, and it did, even if just for the time I was there, offer me some calm amid everything.

Try and visit this forum when you can. Here there are always people who will listen and have felt some of your pain and can truly understand some of the pain and emotions you are feeling.

Thinking of you,

Lottie x
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  #5  
Old October 3rd, 2013, 13:44
Thetricktolife Thetricktolife is offline
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wow that sounds absolutely beyond horrific i am so sorry for your trauma & tragic loss!! believe me you are not to blame at all!! You didn't exactly tell him to do this did you?!! so how could it ever be your fault?!

he just did it!! only christ knows why?!

I pray that you will find comfort & peace some day, though i am certain it will feel like it will never come (it will one day, it just might seem very slow in coming)

sending you lots of love & big virtual *hugs*

do take care of yourself xx

love & light

chantelle
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