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  #1  
Old October 12th, 2007, 16:20
ncjwr ncjwr is offline
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Default my 9 year old daughter

my 9 year old daughter has been making comments eluding to suicide. i know that doesn't sound rational...she has asperger's (high functioning autism specrum disorder) and general anxiety disorder. she is overwhelmingly intelligent, beautiful, and a you could not ask for a better child. my husband and i are very involved in her life. she has an everyday community supports therapist.

lately, she has been talking about how she doesn't fit in at school because she is different. she says she would be better if she wasn't alive anymore and other things that elude to suicide. she has an appointment with a child psychiatrist...couldn't get in 'till nov.8...he was reccomended by the child psychologist we use.

i feel like i would know how to handle this if she were older. she is so calm when she makes these comments. we're just trying to go on with things as normal... we have addressed this with grace, but she won't talk. i'm at a loss...
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  #2  
Old October 13th, 2007, 16:07
nangel78 nangel78 is offline
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I would just be there for her and listen. It sounds like you are doing the best you can. Hang in there!
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  #3  
Old October 14th, 2007, 02:39
jipmerite jipmerite is offline
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Your daughter is having a tough life. Sometimes even adults think or wish lie would get over soon. It does not necessarily mean we would actually commit suicide. What needs to be determined is whether she is just saying it to express her frustrations or whether she is serious about it.

Take time to discern which it is. Until the appointment with the doctor, try keeping and extra eye out on her. Make sure she is not alone for long periods. And keep dangerous things like medicines and knives out of her reach.
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  #4  
Old October 14th, 2007, 05:07
mrs.tinsley mrs.tinsley is offline
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As a woman who grew up with a hard childhood physically, I had very supportive parents who picked me up when I was down (sometimes literally) so the best advise I can give you is to support her in whatever she does. Encourage her to be strong, compliment her on improvement, and don't be afraid to push her to new limits. I would get tired constantly as a child due to a heart defect, as I grew things improved on their own, little by little because I pushed myself. If I had given up on pushing myself, I would have NEVER been on the cheerleading team in high school, but I was.
As for the suicide thoughts, I've had those as well. I can tell you, most people who talk of it are just talking and thinking sad. To get her out of her thoughts I suggest fun. Time away, doing something she likes. If she does have friends at school, bring them along! Getting away from Doctors, Psychiatrists etc. is key. I grew up in hospitals and by golly, they are no fun! Give her a break from being analyzed, ok? Being a guinea pig is awful!

hope this helps! any questions, PLEASE msg me ok?
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  #5  
Old October 14th, 2007, 12:48
travelforever travelforever is offline
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Our son, who is now 13, has the same disorder. He is very bright and is on the honors list. However, he knew he was different and was very sensitive to this. We had him in early intervention when he was 3. And he also spoke of suicide when he was younger.

Take it seriously because she is hurting inside despite her young age. Try to be optimistic and spend time showing her that life is wonderful. Steer away from news programs or celebrity mishaps. If she is being teased, inform her that it is not necessary to be liked by everyone and that some people will like her while others will not. This is ok and not a reflection against her as a beautiful, smart and bright person that she is. Have her speak her feelings to a professional but do not use that as a crutch. Because someday, she will have to face the world on her feet.

The best thing is to find her talent and let her associate with children with similar interests. For instance, if she likes singing, place her in a chorus; painting an art class.

Our son likes to write and is an avid reader and belongs to a writing club and a literary club. He can express himself with the others because of the similar interests. He no longer feels alone or different because he is with peers with the same interests.

What has the therapist said? I am very interested.
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  #6  
Old October 15th, 2007, 11:33
ncjwr ncjwr is offline
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thank you all so much...we are really keeping a watch on grace. we, my husband and myself, are having a really tough time educating her school about her disability. she needs to be out of the school she is in...we're so afriad to change her school right now. i work in disability advocacy...but have been thrown by this situation. it's so tough when it's you're own child you see hurting. our youngest son is also affected by autism and watches everything that is going on.

grace is hurting so much. she is a very talented in the area of riding. (horses) she is also having to give that up for about a month due to our finances. we are having to re-finance our home just to pay for therapies and medical bills due to the autism of both children. i know that has been a real blow to her.

sometimes life is just **** when you're a kid. you have no control of anything. it's even worse when you're different. we try very hard to treat grace as if she were like any other kid...sometimes it's impossible. right now we just have to listen, watch, and do our best. thats all i know how to do.
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Old November 13th, 2007, 10:06
reviewer reviewer is offline
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Being a "different" child (especially an intelligent one) is very difficult. Social ostracism is so much more common among children than adults. I was a kid like that and I did consider suicide. Getting help is the right thing to do.
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  #8  
Old November 15th, 2007, 08:25
katharina katharina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ncjwr View Post
lately, she has been talking about how she doesn't fit in at school because she is different. she says she would be better if she wasn't alive anymore and other things that elude to suicide. she has an appointment with a child psychiatrist...couldn't get in 'till nov.8...he was reccomended by the child psychologist we use.
How did your appointment last week go? Was the psychiatrist able to
help Grace? I sure hope that he or she was able to help your family.
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