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  #1  
Old August 8th, 2007, 04:24
janus76 janus76 is offline
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Default i tried to kill myself

back in febuary i was going through a very hard time in my life and tried to take it i nearly succeded and have had counselling for this but since then i cant stop thinking about it and still have thoughts of doiung the same thing only this time making sure that i succed
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  #2  
Old August 8th, 2007, 05:26
luciestorrs luciestorrs is offline
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Dear Janus76,

I have just read through all of your posts, and life certainly has thrown a lot at you. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and sister and the fact that you are having trouble coming to terms with it all. My heart goes out to you.

It sounds like you have stopped counseling now, but it seems to me that you still need it, and I would say that you need to find a good counselor quickly. I know you have just moved home - and that is stressful enough in itself! - so perhaps you no longer have access to your original counselor. Could you make it your task for today to find a good counselor in your new area, or at least make a few phone calls and start looking.

If you are feeling suicidal right now, then please read this page:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ It only takes about 5 minutes.

As someone who spent a good ten years feeling suicidally depressed but has now made a full recovery, I know that recovery is possible. No matter how hard the circumstances. There will come a time when you feel genuinely happy to be alive and glad that you did NOT kill yourself. Please believe me.

Think of all the people you have yet to meet, all the experiences you could still experience, all the pets who you could look after and love, think of your friends and family and how much they would miss you, and hang onto every little thing that keeps you going. Hang in there.

Please can you promise me that today you will start looking for a counselor?
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  #3  
Old August 8th, 2007, 07:57
Taggart Taggart is offline
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Janus76, our thoughts are with you. I hope you take luciestorrs' advice.

I don't have personal experience with the type of tragedy you've experienced or with suicidal thoughts myself, but this is right around the first anniversary of my sister-in-law's step-son committing suicide. I listened as his friends shared their thoughts at his funeral.

Please hang in.
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Old August 11th, 2007, 10:38
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Janus76, I'm so sorry for all the trauma and heartache you've experienced. I can't say I know how you feel, beecause that would be a lie, but I have been suicidal myself, and I know how awful I felt then.

Lucie is right, though. When you're caught in the grip of depression, it's impossible to see of imagine a brighter future. That's what the disease is, that's what it does. But if you can hang on and get the help you need, there is a future for you, and it doesn't have to contain the unimaginable pain you're feeling now.

Please find another counselor and start the slow process of working through the losses you've suffered. My thoughts are with you on your journey.
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  #5  
Old August 11th, 2007, 22:03
sandmike123 sandmike123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janus76 View Post
back in febuary i was going through a very hard time in my life and tried to take it i nearly succeded and have had counselling for this but since then i cant stop thinking about it and still have thoughts of doiung the same thing only this time making sure that i succed

These words may sound a bit harsh but I have been in your shoes. A counselor can listen to your words and give you advice and tell you all the reasons that you should not do this. But those are just words. You need to have to will and power within yourself to survive. You need to convince yourself of all the reason that you want to live. Your head has to convince your heart that your life is worth more than the 2 inch suicide article in the local paper.

You are a strong person. You have shown that by posting here. You want to live. Now is time to pull that strength out and put it front and center.

I am not discrediting counseling in anyways. I do think it is a good thing. I am just saying that ultimately you have the power within yourself to pull through this. You just need to bring it out and let it help you.
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Old August 12th, 2007, 16:29
luciestorrs luciestorrs is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luciestorrs View Post
As someone who spent a good ten years feeling suicidally depressed but has now made a full recovery, I know that recovery is possible. No matter how hard the circumstances. There will come a time when you feel genuinely happy to be alive and glad that you did NOT kill yourself. Please believe me.
By making a full recovery, I don't mean that I don't still have 'down' days, of course I have my ups and downs like everyone else. I didn't want you thinking that I've reached some kind of totally-happy-all-the-time situation, as that might feel so far removed from where you are now as to feel unachievable.

But I have managed to attach enough meaning to life to have decided that for me, Suicide Is Not An Option. And once you decide that, then you can start looking for other ways to alleviate your pain. I have been OK for eleven years now, and if I can do it, believe me, YOU CAN TOO.
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Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep: over 250 funeral poems, quotes and readings
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  #7  
Old August 20th, 2007, 05:23
catwoman catwoman is offline
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Do you have a good routine and structure to your day, too?

From experience I know that it's not good to have too much time to yourself, thinking about your problems and shortcomings (whether real or imaginary). If you are at home with depression, off work and with too much time on your hands, I think this often makes things worse.

That was what I found, anyway, when I am busy my depression is much easier to cope with. Even if you are at home all day it's possible to work out some kind of routine for your day. Schedule in things like a short walk, trip to the library, reading a book, visit a friend. I know you don't always feel like doing ANYTHING when you are down but try to make yourself stick at it for a while and see if it makes a difference?
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