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  #11  
Old April 2nd, 2008, 10:05
Bonkers Bonkers is offline
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It is like they need to be reassured that it is okay for them to leave or to go on. To pass from this life to the next. I know as my Dad was in the process of passing on---we held his hand and told him we loved him and that it was okay for him to go. It was a peaceful moment with tears from the heart--but it was something that we felt needed to be said to Dad. We talked as if he was alert---for the body shuts down but the soul does not. It was like a small child going to school for the first day---it will be okay. It's okay to go. It won't be as scarey as you think. Reassurance through love. Love is what life is about.
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  #12  
Old April 10th, 2008, 08:01
jadebear jadebear is offline
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Some of them do seem to hang on as long as possible because family members aren't ready to let them go.I think it's real important to tell them it's ok to leave and that we'll be all right without them.My father in law held on for a long time(2 years) and was miserable and in agony and pain.once his wife finally told him it was ok to go he died shortly after,within hours.He was one of those that fought till the very end,not so much for himself but for his family.We were all very proud of him for the strong fight he fought but i realize now how selfish we all were for wanting him to stay here for "us"...we didn't think so much about how he felt or what HE was going through.
Others,like my dad,just want to be out of their misery no matter what others want or think.I know if he had a choice,he would still be here,but he knew he was dying and just wanted to get it over with and didn't want anyone seeing him sick or needing any kind of help.To him,he saw dying as just a natural process of living,something we ALL do and told my brother to not feel so sorry for him cause it would happen to him and all of us eventually.We were all proud of him for accepting the fact that he was dying and for showing us that death is a part of living.
I also believe in the "cycle of life"...one goes out and one comes in.I have noticed that when there's a death there's usually a birth the same year or the next year.If a male dies,another male is born and the same when a female dies.
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  #13  
Old September 4th, 2009, 03:26
floss floss is offline
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I find this subject very interesting as it is something i have often thought about but never spoken of. When my father was dying all the family stayed for about 5 nights in the hospital as we knew it would be soon but myself and my brother went home each night except for the night/morning he passed on. Something made us stay there talking all night, holding dads hand until he took his final breaths. He couldn't speak but he was squeezing my hand so tightly, I could feel his pulse getting slower and slower. Very sad but I was extremely priveleged to be with him at the end. That week I found out I was pregnant too. On the other hand I believe my sister didn't want me to see her go and I wasn't there. I was at home putting my baby to bed and when I said goodnight to her I also whispered goodnight to my sister too. At that exact moment the phone rang to tell me my sister had just passed on. I don't regret not being with her at the end and subsequently had another baby girl within the year.
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  #14  
Old April 4th, 2010, 19:48
LouGuernsey LouGuernsey is offline
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Hey all

My dad was dying for about a week before he went although we never realised!! I took him out for a birthday pint on the thursday and he was dying then. he was gone by wed

but, he lay strong 'properly' dying for three days and nights. his breathing was so strong he was snoring like a pig although out of it on morphine! on the third night the nurses turned him (as they did every hour) and we went back in. his breathing had got shorter. we took his hand I and I shouted at him (he was partially deaf) GO ON DAD! GO AND SEE YOUR MUM AND CAUSE HER SOME TROUBLE! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH SEE YOU IN A FEW YEARS!!!' I think i repeated that twice? he went within like ten breaths? the nurses came in and expressed shock as they'd taken his pulse only minutes before and it was strong as an ox. I truely believe it was us giving him permission that finally made him let go after a four year fight. bear in mind three weeks before his death he changed our entire boiler system single handedly although riddled by cancer. 'permission' WORKS
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  #15  
Old August 19th, 2015, 09:07
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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re posted x
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  #16  
Old June 22nd, 2016, 13:36
Sadgirl2016 Sadgirl2016 is offline
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I have noticed a pattern of someone in the family dying and someone new being born. It terrifies me and I'm not sure I want to have kids-I don't want to be responsible for the death of a family member because I had a kid. Sort of making room for my child by having another family member die, I hope it's not true that that happens!
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  #17  
Old June 22nd, 2016, 16:12
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi my friend you have to remember we all die in the end we all are called back to heaven people die babies are born thousands every day The population continues to grow It's not a, one out one in as there would always be the same amount of people on earth, i hope this assures you there is no justification to your fears.Sometimes sadly births and deaths in families overlap it's just the way things are.Please don't let this deter you of the joys of motherhood giving life and nurturing a child giving and receiving love is a bond so beautiful it's the best gift in life Hazel xx
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  #18  
Old June 23rd, 2016, 12:06
Sadgirl2016 Sadgirl2016 is offline
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You are definitely right that the population continues to grow! I have always wanted to adopt or stay childless anyway so it's not really an issue for me as I don't really want to be a mother (so you don't have to worry about me missing out on something I don't particularly want!) but I have many siblings who may have kids one day. After seeing so many people have babies right when they lose their parent or other family member, it has become somewhat of a superstition for our family-I know it doesn't happen every time obviously, but it's strange when it does happen right at the same time.

It's great you think having kids is the best thing in life, personally I think the best gift in life is finding a person you are NOT related to and being able to love them and stick by them even though they are not your blood be that by marriage and/or adopting a child-that's real selfless love for me. But I guess we all have our different opinions, mine maybe is because I have a particularly awful mother who I am pretty much estranged from now.
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