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  #1  
Old March 10th, 2013, 06:47
isa86 isa86 is offline
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Default Like a rollercoaster-loss of my grandmother

Hi,

This is my first post.
I lost my grandmother one year and a half ago for pancreatic cancer at the age of 85. I know she was old in her body but not in spirit.Hate when people nowadays tend to think that is a natural process old people dying and that we should get over their loss as soon as possible.
We didn't know she was dying until two moths beofre her passing, I was so devastated I became numb and anxious. She was like a second mother to me, during my 25 years old I spent each and every day with her by my side and was like a best friend I trusted.
There is no single day I do not think about her, I miss our conversations so much and how lovely and fun she was. I am recovering little by little, feel good for some days and then, fall into a spiral of sadness again. And moreover, now I am getting lots of achievements in my life, I am so sad that she isn't there to see me and then, find myself wondering if she is seeing me from another place out of this world or if she's gone forever.
Is this normal? Is anybody experiencing something similar?
Sorry for my long post, I just needed to share.
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  #2  
Old March 10th, 2013, 07:06
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi isa i'm sorry for your loss of your grandmother 85 isn't old nowadays and its very sad she wasn't here longer for you i know how hard it must be i was very close to my grandad he said i was his best friend and he passed at the age of 95 always very fit untill the last few months it doesn't matter what age they are its irrelivent we love them and its very hard to accept all we can say is we are thanfull for the years we had wether it was a short time or we were blessed with many years
your grandmother lives in your heart she is part of who you are she influenced your life and made you the person you are today i know she sees you whenever you need her presence and is very proud of you and all your achievements
love hazelxx
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  #3  
Old March 10th, 2013, 07:33
isa86 isa86 is offline
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hazel, thanks a lot for your reply, It gave me confort, I am not having nice day today, thank you so much.
I am so grateful for the time I spent with my grandmother and I am so happy you experienced a very similar relationship with your granddad, I'm sorry for his passing. As you said it is harder to accept their death as they were so lucid and fit and that's where I find more trouble to cope with.
Apart from this, I am finding myself quite anxious regarding my family. I am always very worried thinking I might lose them at any moment, I keep thinking on sudden death. Whenever I see my mum ill or not feeling well I find myself with this overwhelming and unstoppable fear.
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  #4  
Old March 10th, 2013, 09:28
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi isa what your experiencing is very natural when we lose a loved one the realisation that its not just others we know that have to go through this grief of loss its us we never expected it to touch ours and of course it does
we all get frightened for the rest of our loved ones and our own health but the legacy loved ones leave behind is because of their passing we hold on to and love our family even more not taking life for granted we don't just expect them to know we love them we tell them and show it more than we did before also we have more compassion for everyone who is suffering the same this all comes from grandmothers passing
the intense worry will pass in time but the love for others and your grandmother will always remain with you
love hazelxxxx
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  #5  
Old May 27th, 2013, 18:15
heavenlygirl heavenlygirl is offline
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I lost my grandmother at 89 and it was one of the hardest points in my life. I used to talk to her every night on the phone and to this day, five years later, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her.
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  #6  
Old July 6th, 2013, 05:13
isa86 isa86 is offline
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Thanks a lot for your help hazel, I'm so sorry I didn't reply before.
Heavenlygirl, I kno how you fee, I'm the same as you, this is the hardest point of my life I need to learn how to cope with it.
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  #7  
Old October 29th, 2013, 18:54
isa86 isa86 is offline
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Feeling terribly again. I've been depressed today, I can't help it, It is so sad to me I'm getting bitter and bitter towards people who tell me its time to move on. They make me feel like I' m some kind of a stupid girl, so sensitive.
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  #8  
Old October 29th, 2013, 19:40
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi isa try very hard not to get bitter and depressed that's the last thing your grandmother would want her passing to leave you with the legacy she has left is love these people who are making you feel bad saying you should move on have your interest at heart but they don't feel your grief and can't understand all your feeling because the loss is yours don't take the remarks to heart they care enough about you to at least make some comments that they think will help Of course you must move forward but in your own time your grandmother wouldn't wish you to spend a lifetime grieving for her she spent her life since you were born loving you and creating happiness it's everything she worked for and now she is in heaven it's still all she needs you to be it's something you must aim for not just for yourself but to live this life respecting her memory by being happy again
it's so easy to come stuck in grief and its probably what your friends are worrying about talk to them about how her loss has affected you and how you are coping it may help the acceptance of losing a loved one is a gradual recovery you are not stupid or over sensitive you just miss your grandmother thinking of you and I hope soon the days will get better love hazel x
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Last edited by hazelharris : October 29th, 2013 at 19:48.
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