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  #1  
Old September 25th, 2011, 23:33
truoc truoc is offline
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Unhappy I'm not sure how I will ever get over this...

Hi everyone. I needed to find some place to write how I feel and see if others have felt the same way and understand where I am coming from and maybe can offer me some help on how to cope with this. A little over 6 years ago we got a Jack Russell Terrier and I named her Molly. She was my very first dog and was a great pup, but 2 years into owning her she started acting a little odd so we had her checked out. Turns out she was diagnosed with Addison's Disease. Addison's disease is very treatable and we treated it all the time we had her. Over the years she had some spells where she just wouldn't act like her normal self and would lay around and not eat. A trip to the vet to stabilize her electrolytes as well as other things would fix her right up and she would be back to normal. That was until this past Friday. On Friday she had one of those spells where she just wanted to lay around and not move or eat/drink either. We took her to the vet that evening and the vet said she needed to stay overnight because she had a fever of 103. I petted her goodbye and told her we'd see her in the morning. The morning came and the vet promptly called us to update us on her status. The call was not good at all. Her blood sugar was extremely low, her kidneys weren't functioning properly, and her liver levels were elevated. The vet was doing everything she could to try to get her blood sugar up in order to treat the other symptoms. The vet asked us how far we wanted to take the treatment because it didn't look good. I told her that we would have to discuss it as a family and call her back to let her know. We were in the process of discussing it when the phone rang. The vet informed us that Molly didn't make it. We didn't even have enough time to make a decision and it was over. I immediately lost it. I could not believe that my best friend was gone so quickly. Even though she was gone I knew that I had to go see her one last time and say goodbye. Drove to the vet and saw her. I petted and kissed her as much as I could for a good 10 minutes while balling my eyes out. She was my best friend. I don't think I've cried so much in my life as I have these past few days. Why did she have to go so soon and at such the young age of 6 years old? Doesn't seem fair.

This is especially devastating for me because Molly used to sleep in my bed with me every night. Every night around 11pm she would come to my door and scratch it begging to be let in my room so she could hop in my bed. Saturday night was the worst because I knew she wouldn't be there to scratch on my door or be there to hog my bed like she always did.

I think the worst part of this that is killing me the most is that I wasn't there to hold her and comfort her and pet her when she went. I'm not sure the circumstances of how she went (whether she was in a cage or not), but I wish more than anything that I was the last person she saw before she went instead of some bars or another person. I hope that one of the vet techs there was with her and comforting her when she went. I feel like I let her down in that respect of not being there. I feel like she trusted me that everything would be OK by taking her to the vet and I let her down. This is killing me and I can't see this going away anytime soon. Someone suggested that I get another dog to help ease the pain, but I feel that isn't even an option because any dog that I get I feel can't possibly live up to what Molly meant to me. Getting a dog and not showing it the attention and affection it deserves would be wrong in my eyes.

Sorry for the long post, but I can't stop thinking about Molly every minute of every day so far and it is killing me. Do you guys have any suggestions that might help me?
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  #2  
Old October 5th, 2011, 11:16
xcurseofcurvesx xcurseofcurvesx is offline
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Default

Molly was at the vets because you love her and wanted her to get better. She knew you loved her and felt that it was time to go. she didnt need you there because you were there in her memories and heart.
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  #3  
Old October 14th, 2011, 13:08
muts muts is offline
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Default your loss

Thats so sad and i am so sorry. I found this forum by accident. In 1 months time i will qualify in pet bereavement councilling and was doing some research. How you are feeling is totally understandable and you must give yourself permission to grieve. You will move through 5 stages of grief before you reach resolution but you will get there,If you havent got any support yet then contact the Blue Cross charity they have a free support network. Hope this helps good luck.
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  #4  
Old October 20th, 2011, 07:56
tony tony is offline
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Post my heart goes out to you

hi
i have just come onto this site ,and my heart goes out to you ,as i to am finding it hard to come to terms with our loss.i just think it is time which will help?? but as they say better to have had than never.i have so many memories of my ben.perhaps thats what will help us out ,but you are not alone.i hope you have fond memories,as this is what will help us through.
keep your chin up .
kindest regards tony
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  #5  
Old November 25th, 2011, 15:04
<3broken <3broken is offline
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Default I feel your pain!

I just lost my little boy Gizmo...I took him to the vet as he was lethargic and would not eat..The vet ran some tests and said it doesnt look good he gave me two options euthenasia..Or addmitting my little boy to a emergency hospital for the weekend at $1500 for each 12 hour period. I have never cried so much in my life. He told me based on his tests he has addisions as well or total kidney failure. He advised me if i put him in the hospital for the weekend he has about a 90% chance of dying. And suggested he strongly suggested to euthanize. It was the most painful and diffcult descision i ahve ever made in my life. I help his tiny littl body while the vet did it and cried like a small child. The sad part is he ddint even flinch when the needle went in, It seems as if he was at terms withhis state and ready to go. He was a 10 year old POM i adopted from an abusive owner 2 years ago. Even tho I know i made his life better and he made mine better. It hurts so much! I'm not even sure how to deal with this. I feel for you when you said she wont be sleeping on your bed. I will never come home to his excited bushey tail wagging and letting out the most annoying high pitched bark(but thats what made him..him) sorry to rant and steal your thunder i just have to let this out!

AND do not get another pup until your ready for it! I came home and my partner suggested gettign another i said maby in the new year when i am over him. You cant just replace them as if they never existed you need to greeve and remember the good times...Thats what im doing over a nice big bottle of wine..and maybe one day i will be able to love another guy like i loved him...I'm so sory for your lose!*hugs*
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