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Old August 6th, 2010, 15:18
Teagan Teagan is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Post 3 years and still not coping

Hi everyone, I'm a newbie and found this forum tonight hoping to chat to people in similar circumstances.

I lost my Great Aunt (mum's aunt) who I was very close to. I spent more time with her than anyone else. My mum was a single parent working long hours, so growing up, my great aunt would pick me up from school and I'd spend the evenings at hers. As I got older I would still spend my time at her place, eating meals, watching tv and chatting. She was the most generous, kind and loving person I ever knew. As she got older I felt very protective of her and would do what I could to take care of her. Even though she was in her early eighties, she was very fit and healthy. But sadly, she got lung cancer and it knocked her off her feet. The doctors gave her months, but she lived with the cancer for a year, even fighting pneumonia half way through. We managed to keep her at home for as long as possible and I became her carer and did everything. But eventually she was finding it hard to breathe and had to stay at the hospital. She had her 83rd birthday in hospital, and passed away 4 days later. Even though I'd spent every day by her bedside, the day she died I'd gone back to work. One of my aunts had been there when she died, and she phoned me at work.
The only regret I have in life is not being there that day to hold her hand and I'll never forgive myself for that.
It's been 3 years and 5 months and I'm still struggling to cope with her death. She was my best friend. The only person that I could talk to. I miss her so much. I try not to think about it, but when I do I'll cry all day and feel deeply depressed. I have dreams that I lose her all over again and the grief is overwhelming.
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Old April 25th, 2012, 12:34
cami cami is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teagan View Post
The only regret I have in life is not being there that day to hold her hand and I'll never forgive myself for that.
It's been 3 years and 5 months and I'm still struggling to cope with her death. She was my best friend. The only person that I could talk to. I miss her so much. I try not to think about it, but when I do I'll cry all day and feel deeply depressed. I have dreams that I lose her all over again and the grief is overwhelming.
We always have regrets you know. No matter what we do or how hard we try. Take comfort in knowing that you were there as much as you could. She knew how much you loved her and she cherished you for it.
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Old April 26th, 2012, 05:25
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua Teagan, welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear about the death of you great aunt. The emphasis on GREAT. What a wonderful woman she is!!

When we loose someone we love we all have a tendency to feel guilty about something or other. Its the what if....feeling, which then leads to guilt. Please try not to think this way it is not helpful. You clearly loved her and she clearly loved you. Do you honestly think that she will be annoyed or upset with you for not being there? Of course not.

What you need to do if focus on the happy times you shared, and talk about her to your family and friends, especially your mum. By talking about her you will rejoice in her life and start to forget the pain of her passing.

Talk to her. She can still hear you. She will be praying for you to stop torturing yourself as she is in a much better place now free from pain and in the company of her departed loved ones. She still loves you and that will never end.

May God bless you
Tom
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