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  #1  
Old January 6th, 2008, 15:49
MerdeCat MerdeCat is offline
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Default Guilt over last meeting

I had a good friend in high school that died from being hit by a drunk driver. We had dated at one point, then I just wanted to be friends.

He had trouble accepting the just friends thing, so I got annoyed since I really did want to be friends. Anyway, I said some mean things on our last meeting that I could never take back because he was killed.

This was 15 years ago and I still think about it at times. Does guilt over things like this go away?
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  #2  
Old January 7th, 2008, 08:49
Ricardo Ricardo is offline
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I don't have a very similar experience like that, but I don't think it would be realistic for absolutely all feelings of guilt to go away.

I'd say that we should consider that the other person hopefully didn't take the conversation to heart, knowing that we sometimes say things in anger that we don't mean.
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Old January 12th, 2008, 00:51
MerdeCat MerdeCat is offline
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Well, I'm pretty sure he did take the conversation to heart.
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Old January 24th, 2008, 11:21
Ricardo Ricardo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MerdeCat View Post
Well, I'm pretty sure he did take the conversation to heart.
I'm sorry to hear that. I assume the guilt has lessened over the 15 years?

I'd think if it's still there at all after that amount of time, maybe it won't go away entirely.
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Old January 24th, 2008, 19:06
twocents twocents is offline
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I don't think we ever really get over anything, be it a good or bad confrontation. I think the way you should think of it merdecat is like a life lesson, which is pretty much how I take most things.

The next time something like this happens, where you think you might regret things said or done later on. Take the time to approach that person and let them know that even though things were said you are sorry, or can we just agree to be civil from now on. At least then you wont have feelings of guilt over letting things go for so long without talking and then not being able to.
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  #6  
Old February 5th, 2008, 11:04
Ricardo Ricardo is offline
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I think this approach is kind of the same as some couples take when arguing. I've heard that some couples "won't go to bed mad."

Also, many couples always end a phone conversation with "I love you."
I think on some level, in some cases people say this just in case it turns out to be their last words together.
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Old February 8th, 2008, 01:22
jr_sci jr_sci is offline
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Do not think negative just think positive.Though you are feeling guilty and can say him sorry in prayers and be happy.
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  #8  
Old March 5th, 2008, 00:26
MerdeCat MerdeCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twocents View Post
I don't think we ever really get over anything, be it a good or bad confrontation. I think the way you should think of it merdecat is like a life lesson, which is pretty much how I take most things.

The next time something like this happens, where you think you might regret things said or done later on. Take the time to approach that person and let them know that even though things were said you are sorry, or can we just agree to be civil from now on. At least then you wont have feelings of guilt over letting things go for so long without talking and then not being able to.
Yes, this is how I've tried to make it into something positive. It works most of the time. Thanks.
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  #9  
Old March 30th, 2008, 03:27
cathyinfo cathyinfo is offline
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Merdecat,

I still feel guilty for something very similar. It's been 12 years for me and I still wish I go back and change things. I try to keep hope that there is a reason or a lesson to be learned by never being able to apologize. Or maybe he did forgive you and knew he was in the wrong. Death is so strange. Just like time. We can't change what has been said once it's said. All we can do is move on and ask for forgiveness and hope that those that have passed know we are sorry.
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