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  #11  
Old July 9th, 2007, 22:37
jemoelle jemoelle is offline
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It is never easy to lose someone but I would like to know in advance so that I could make sure there were no lose ends and all bad relationships were mended and there were no regrets. It is hard watching someone die...we just did that with my brother in law who had cancer...he passed a few months ago..it was difficult but we spent time with him that we probably wouldn't have had we not known that his time here was going to be taken
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  #12  
Old August 23rd, 2007, 14:20
azaleaeight azaleaeight is offline
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Default When You Know Someone Is Dying

We knew my mother was dying, and maybe - in ways - it makes it a little easier, but what I found was that even after being told she was dying and even with knowing how all the signs were clearly there, I couldn't really believe it.

I kept having hope and kept kind of thinking how she'd make it. I know that was part of the "denial thing" that people go through, but what I was left with after she went was feeling as if I should have behaved in a way that acknowledge that she was going. I didn't behave badly toward her by any means, but as I took care of her I just kept taking care of her as I'd been doing all along.

If I could have gotten it through my head that she was really dying, I would have probably hugged her more or said some appropriate things.

Then again, sometimes I wonder if just having our same-old kind of days as we'd had since she'd become bedridden was better for her.

That's the kind of thing we can't ever really figure out.
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  #13  
Old August 26th, 2007, 08:39
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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I think the biggest difference for me has been closure. I think I was able to get closure easier when my friend fought cancer for a year and we knew we were going to lose her and she knew she was going to die, so we all seemed to wrap things up. When my uncle died suddenly and young, I was unable to get closure for months after.
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  #14  
Old August 26th, 2007, 21:28
ssleutz ssleutz is offline
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No I don't think that it makes it any easier knowing that you are going to loose them. But it does help you to to know to spend more time with them and say what you want to say to them during that time.
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  #15  
Old September 26th, 2007, 18:17
Calypso Calypso is offline
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I think it depends on a lot of things including whether or not the dying patient's symptoms are managed well enough so they can continue to participate in life, how you use the time once you know, and how honest everybody is being.

Watching a loved one suffer certainly makes grieving more difficult. So does spending months on end dreading that today will be "the day" or, conversely, trying to pretend that nothing is wrong and your loved one will make a full recovery.

If, on the other hand, your loved one is comfortable and you have a chance to say your goodbyes in a meaninful way, the burden of grief you carry later might be lessened somewhat.
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  #16  
Old October 14th, 2007, 03:50
mrs.tinsley mrs.tinsley is offline
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I believe you have a buffer of time to cope with the hardship before it comes and in that sense it would be a little easier, not easy, but easier.
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  #17  
Old March 28th, 2009, 23:04
suebee82 suebee82 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonmagick View Post
We knew my grandmother was dying before she passed. In some ways I think it helped us to come to terms with it, but on the other hand, we also knew our time with her was limited. Do you think it makes it any easier to cope when you know it is going to happen?
We are going through that now with my father, and I have to say for me NO it is devestating to see him everyday. Leaving the hospital is torturous for me. It's been 5 weeks and each day I walk in and I feel as though my heart in being ripped out. Maybe it's me, but I haven't come to terms with it and I cannot bring myself to say goodbye. We've been on a rollercoaster ride with all the ups and downs. So for me knowing isn't making it easier to cope. Again today the news was pretty grim so again tonight I sit with the phone close hoping it doesn't ring, but knowing that he is suffering. So we feel selfish and guilty for not wanting to let him go but knowing that his suffering will end.
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  #18  
Old March 23rd, 2012, 05:00
matheu899 matheu899 is offline
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Default Nothing in this world is sustainable

We all aware of the fact that all in this world will vanish.
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