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Old December 1st, 2012, 14:33
i will always love you xx i will always love you xx is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: scotland
Posts: 21
Default "My Stevie" xXx

Today would have been your "Birthday!",... you would have been 44 yrs old today 1st December, you never for some reason imagined yourself being old, although we saw and talked about us,.. ourselves growing old with each other, sorry but i have to say this:!!!,.. i wish your life had been longer, and had ended sooo differently,.. i remember so many times feeling so happy, so contented, excited about the future, i felt i almost needed to stop and pinch myself, just knowing i was so lucky to have found someone so special, my soulmate, to spend my life with early on, some people take years to find the right one, we met, you remember, we were first b/f and g/f, and were together for 13 years,..i have so many memories to look back on,.. but! somehow one day, without any warning!!! it just all changed! my life changed forever!!!, times i have beyond my wits, tried to not deal with it in so many ways, made myself so ill, but 15 years on i have a different life, but i am not sure this, you, is something i will ever truly get over, it's like a mark has been left, a cross to bear! x 2 years after i lost you, and your family, our friends, i still love them and miss them and think of them often but it was too hard without you! i moved away it was impossible to stay there, your family needed someone to blame i get that but: i punished myself for many years and probably will always.. i got a puppy in 1999 maybe you have already met her, but i know she is waiting for me, i had her for 13 years too! she was *my girl* a beautiful golden retriever, who was so loyal and in tune with me, my heart breaks because it was her time, she fought bravely 2 yrs before, and i know for sure she would never have left me!!! forgive me,.. i am grieving and blinded by that for her!!! because she would never have left me! xXx i will always love you xXx
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