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nangel78 November 11th, 2007 15:20

I am not sure myself, but that does make sense. We spread my husband's mother's ashes in Hawaii.

reviewer November 12th, 2007 11:23

At least in some areas (this link is from the UK), it is not illegal to spread ashes as they have no environmental risk:

dukettemom November 12th, 2007 18:29

We cremated my mother for logistical reasons. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but she was in TX when she died and she wanted to be buried in NC next to my Dad. The cost was just astounding to do that without cremation. And we had discussed it before she passed, so it wasn't a decision i made alone or made lightly. So, she was cremated, then we put her ashes in a lovely decorative box that she would have picked and buried her next to my Dad.

A very dear friend of ours was also cremated, at his request and his children scattered his ashes from a boat near a beach that he loved to spend time at.

I would have a hard time "retaining" Mom's ashes, i think. I think it would have made it harder to have some closure. Just my own feelings, of course.

Rtmartin April 30th, 2010 08:41

Help on that front

Originally Posted by Taggart (Post 1308)
I've never dealt with a having a loved one cremated.

For those here who have, I was wondering if you retained the person's ashes or if the wish was to have them dispersed somewhere?

Most people tend to continue their relationship in some form after death i.e. if you needed to care for the person in life you may want to have some care of their ashes in death. Thank goodness now most people collect the ashes from a crematoria. Then question is what then scatter or keep. A lot of people get a great release and closure from scattering whether on a river or a hill. Some people prefer to retain the ashes. It is what you feel comfortable with and whether you are ready to let them go. If you wish to hold onto them in some form it doesn't have to be the urn on the mantle piece, you can have some ashes put in a locket or they can be incorporated into a the garden - in a sundial or birdbath. One final thought scattering in the garden might seem to satisfy both needs but remember if you move house or in the future if grand kids want to visit the spot this may be awkward.

heavenlygirl October 13th, 2012 17:15

They actually have numerous products available now that 'make use' (for lack of a better term) of the cremated ashes of a loved one. I have bought several as grieving gifts for friends that have lost family members or pets and I actually have one hanging in my car with some of my gramdparents ashes. I think the auto mirror pendants are nice but the company I use has a ton to choose from. It's nice to be able to have the option of using the ashes and having them with you I think. I'll attach the link. Good luck! auto mirror cremation pendants

Rayzsvt October 15th, 2012 14:22

Just this past weekend, the kids and I complete the last wish of my wife's. She wanted her ashes taken to a beach she loved to go to. This way the kids and I can come to be with her time to time. This is the way she wanted it.

I thought of keeping her ashes. But there has to be a time for closure.

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