Originally Posted by cami
I dont undetstand. Im so annoyed. Why cant I just grow up and let it go? She's gone. I cant do anything about it. I understand that she isnt angry at me for not seeing her. I know that she knew i loved her. In my heart, I know that she is fine. So why cant I stop crying? Why cant I move on? It cripples me whenever I remember her. Even now, writing this, Im so sad. Time will heal is what i keep getting said to me. Can time work a little faster?? Please...
Cami.... hang in there .. the whole process of loss is in full swing.. it follows no set pattern.. some people go through things that others don't when they grieve.. The whole point is working towards coming to acceptance of the loss of your Gran and unfortunately that is going to take some time.. You are learning to live your life without her physically in it anymore.. It takes time to get used to that harsh reality. Be patient with your self ..
A suggestion... maybe if it available to you go and talk to your GP and see if he can recommend a lower dosage of antidepressant for you.. That will help take the edge off so you can learn to cope without being bombarded at everyturn.. I'm not a big advocate of throwing a pill at everything that ails you.. But I have been on antidepressants for 4 years and they have really helped get through some of the cruel dark days in my journey.......
Losing anyone is hard... and the more you loved that person the tougher it is to come to realization of their loss.. and get to a point where your heart and head become ready to accept reality and start the process of a new life without your loved one in it physically anymore..
SO go easy.. Talk to your Doctor...only you know when it is time to be ready to accept things and move into the mourning cycle of your loss.. Mourning is when the hard work comes...Grieving is about survival... They are different..
Your life has changed and so have you... now you have to decide where and when to take the next small step...
In the end you will see the whole process of loss has a weird purpose to it all.. Please if you feel up to it read some of my articles I have written in Greif recovery.. they might give you some of the tools you need to answer your own questions and to help yourself up out of the dispair you currently feel.
I wish you peace for your hurting heart and know that you are never alone here..