View Single Post
Old September 27th, 2017, 12:09
cal821 cal821 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
Default My deepst condolenences on the loss of your parents

Irene626, my heart goes out to you at this time. I know through past experience myself how family who was never really involved in much. Come around looking to benefit for a loss. Money is the most wonderful vehicle to help us live but its downside is it also shows the true colours of people when they think there is something in it for them. People can become such true vultures when they think they will get something out a death of a family member. Its not bad enough that you cared for your parents and did everything for them that siblings would come out of the woodwork when they think they smell money. In the end you are trying to just get through each day when your heart is raw and broken from your loss. My advice just take it one day at a time.. keep breathing.. Yell, scream, rant rave go with the grief and pain. Go with the process. There is no time frame to put the financial things in order. Take care of what you need to do to get your parents financial affairs in order first if you haven't done so already. Get a lawyer or legal advice first off if you can afford it.. Unfortunately people can be like sharks that smell blood in the water when it comes to money. In the end the legal advice or lawyer will give you some direction to protect your parents assets and or divide it accordingly. Don't be bullied or put upon by your siblings. You just tell them that it will be sorted out in time but right now you need to work things out with your grief.. Its about you right now not them! don't be afraid to tell them so. when they hassle you about getting their share of your parents assets. You need to worry about starting the grieving process and mourning period for yourself. Be damned anyone else! If you bottle this up and take care of everyone else first and not dealing with your grief it will do a number on you. Sounds like the California sibling syndrome. ( Siblings come in after having little or no involvement in the family members life and start dictating their wishes or demands) .. You were the main caregiver and stable force in your parents lives. Your siblings did little or nothing to help it was all on you. I'm sure your parents are eternally grateful for everything you did for them in their final days. Please don't forget that!
Unfortunately your in for a drawn out battle with these people. My wife late and current wives both experienced the exact same issues with their parents and siblings. So I have seen this before. Take strength that you were a good daughter to your parents and when your siblings time comes they will atone for their lack of sympathy, empathy and compassion. The guilt of their lack of interest or involvement in your parents final days is on them.

As I said my heart goes out to you. And I wish you peace for your broken heart. Don't let these people cause you to suffer more than you already are. Stand you ground and look into the legal advice if you already haven't done so. Remember in the end it was you that stood by and supported your parents when your siblings did not. And it will always be about money for these people even after the dust has settled. Their type will never be satisfied they will always be after more and more. In time when you move through the process and start to cope a little better with your loss.. You will see and know you are and were what a good daughter and child should be to your parents. in the end they were able to pass on from this life knowing they were loved, appreciated and treated with respect in their final time here. which is what anyone wants isn't it.

I wish you peace

Dave ( AKA CAL821)
Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...

Reply With Quote