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Old August 6th, 2010, 16:18
Teagan Teagan is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1
Post 3 years and still not coping

Hi everyone, I'm a newbie and found this forum tonight hoping to chat to people in similar circumstances.

I lost my Great Aunt (mum's aunt) who I was very close to. I spent more time with her than anyone else. My mum was a single parent working long hours, so growing up, my great aunt would pick me up from school and I'd spend the evenings at hers. As I got older I would still spend my time at her place, eating meals, watching tv and chatting. She was the most generous, kind and loving person I ever knew. As she got older I felt very protective of her and would do what I could to take care of her. Even though she was in her early eighties, she was very fit and healthy. But sadly, she got lung cancer and it knocked her off her feet. The doctors gave her months, but she lived with the cancer for a year, even fighting pneumonia half way through. We managed to keep her at home for as long as possible and I became her carer and did everything. But eventually she was finding it hard to breathe and had to stay at the hospital. She had her 83rd birthday in hospital, and passed away 4 days later. Even though I'd spent every day by her bedside, the day she died I'd gone back to work. One of my aunts had been there when she died, and she phoned me at work.
The only regret I have in life is not being there that day to hold her hand and I'll never forgive myself for that.
It's been 3 years and 5 months and I'm still struggling to cope with her death. She was my best friend. The only person that I could talk to. I miss her so much. I try not to think about it, but when I do I'll cry all day and feel deeply depressed. I have dreams that I lose her all over again and the grief is overwhelming.
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