Cassie, my heart goes out to you.
Having lost my first born, I understand how difficult it must be, and everyone has their own ways of dealing with these situations.
Consider how you would like to say goodbye to your little one, many of us don't get the chance to plan for their departure. This is not giving up, but allowing your child to be who he truly is at any given time, and giving yourself permission to truly be his mother with all of your heart. I certainly wish that someone had been truthful and realistic with me when my daughter was dying.
Also, seek out grief counseling. This way you can access people who are experienced with the range of emotions you are going through.