Thread: The note...
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Old April 3rd, 2012, 19:00
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
Default The note...

While I was doing some spring cleaning at my home I came across a card for my Late wife Tammy. In it was a hand written note... that I had written to her several years back.

Tammy and I were together for almost 12 years... 4 years of dating and almost 8 years of marriage. She unfotunately passed on 1 month before our eighth wedding anniversary... She was everything to me.. My best friend.. my soul mate.... the mother of our beautiful children......she completed my life... I couldn't have asked for things to be better in my life. I was going to give it to her on our anniversary and never got the chance to...

As I read this note again after these years... it took on a new meaning for me..
It took me back to a time when joy was in my heart..... the memory brought me back to when I first wrote the note, and the words flowed easily. Basically it was the top things I was grateful for about my wife Tammy..
My way of simplifying my gratitude to her for who she was and everything about her..

Her height
Her beauty
Her joi de vivre
Her cookies
Her good sense of humor
The way we can laugh together at things we know are funny, even though other people may not think so
Our history together
Her persistence
Her temper
The way we complement each other to make a great team
Her creativity
She finds me sexy
Her brilliance
Her innovative meals
Her good cooking
Her ice cream experiments
Her excitement for simple things
Her ability to make friends for us
Her long legs
The way she loves our children
Her laugh
She finds me funny
Her undying love for me
Her undying love for Target and Walmart( LOL)
The smell of her skin
Her ability to absorb large amounts of information quickly
Her quick reading skills
The way she reads things for me and summarizes so we can decide if it's garbage or not
She is one of the most observant people I've ever met
Her sexy body
Her energy
Our future together, sitting on a front porch together when we're old - I thought that was the way it was to be
Her ability to pick just the right gift
Her sense of style
The amazing way she cares for our children
All the tedious things she does for our home
The way she puts up with me
The way she starts crying when she talks about the distance between her best friend and us
Her picture-perfect teeth
Her good hygiene
She knows the lyrics to some pretty obscure oldies
The sound of her voice
Her enthusiasm
The way she knows about things months, sometimes years before they are ubiquitous
Her multi-colored hazel eyes
Her name
Her imagination
Her ability to turn a boring story into a captivating one
Her cynicism
Our friendship
Her safe driving record
Her poor (although improving) spatial skills
The way she loves my family
Her love of people, in general
Her guidance
Her flowing locks
Each and every one of her toes
The way she knows more about cars than I do
The amazing grace she exhibited while giving birth to our children
Her not being like her crazy family
The way she knows the names of obscure clothing and food items
Her impeccable memory
The slight bump in her nose that she is paranoid about
Her sentimentality
Her love for all things tiny
Her independence
Her optimism
Our mutual love for bad television
Our mutual respect for each other
Her seasonal love of ice cream
Her patience, when it matters most
Her impatience, when it is appropriate
Her sense of self
Her sense of self-worth
The way her jaw drops when she falls asleep in the car
The way she drools when she falls asleep anywhere
The way she'll drive when I really don't feel like it
The way she can create an anniversary card in less than five minutes
Her insatiable appetite for belly buttons... oh wait, that's my insatiable appetite for belly buttons... Her ability to provide me with one sexy belly button
Our crazy little family
Fudge-like brownies
All those freckles
The way we somehow always knew we would end up together, even when we weren't speaking to each other
The way she has improved her timing abilities such that we are hardly ever late for anything anymore, even with a baby in tow
Her good complexion
Her love of those off-kilter movies like Hudson Hawk
Her kindness
She's most often not a girly-girl, but sometimes she can be
She's her own show, folks. She's her own show.
Her thoughtfulness
Her tact
The fact that we made a "No whining" rule when we started dating and we've pretty much stuck to it for all this time
The way she can calm down our daughters when I've tried and failed
The way we can communicate without speaking in full sentences or thoughts
The way we can spend all of our time together and not get tired of each other
And yes, I love her so much I can never stay mad at her and damn it she knows it ...

As I re -read this note it brought tears to my eyes ... but not in a bad way.. It brought tears of gratitude...understanding and acceptance...

Gratitude for everything Tammy was and is .. I looked back on that list that was written from my heart and I wouldn't change the way things have turned out.. Unfortunate as they were and are.. Because I was blessed.. I can honestly say the time I had with her gives me such gratitude to her for her time... her love... her presence in my life ... that is ever encompassing through this life...

I have known true love... of a person who will forever be etched into my heart and mind. A gift of memories and experiences that touched my soul, helped me grow as a person... that brought meaning and purpose to my life. Even though I could have done without all the pain her loss brought me.. I still wouldn't have missed the dance.

The Dance by (Garth Brookes)...



"The Dance"

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance


Thank you Tammy Lynn( 1970-2008 ) for being you...
and I still love and miss every one of those things I said in my list as I did then and do now..


Dave( Cal821 )
__________________
Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...

Cal821

Last edited by cal821 : August 21st, 2012 at 12:40.
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