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Old August 3rd, 2010, 10:04
littlemonkey_28 littlemonkey_28 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: highlands
Posts: 2
Default Uncle john . my big monkey :(

Hi this is my 1st post. I want to talk about losing my uncle who was like a father to me.I was born with alot of hair and my uncle called me his little monkey, and he was my big monkey who would swing me round in his arms.

My uncle was diagnosed with cancer a year and 2 month when he passed, It was a type of blood cancer and the he went through loads of treatments, some of them worked for a while and some didnt.. he became really ill a few months ago and he didnt want to go away for care so he was cared for by me for a few weeks then my mum started helping as he was harder to care for. He lost the use of his legs 1st then his eating and drinking went. Me my mum and my brother were there when he took his final breath on the 21st of June 2010 at 3.15pm. I hated the fact he had to be taken away and it killed me deep down but i stood tall for him and my family.
Its over a month now and i feel so numb, like a massive hole is missing in me. I dont know how to cope.. he was my world and he gave me so much. He was a very proud man and one wish i will always want was to here him say he loved me though i know he said it deep down...

i received his ashes home 2 weeks ago and i am waiting for him to be scattered, and thats another part I am dreading, its the final good bye that i dont want to say.. I dont want to let him go...
I want to speak to people that feel the way i do, or have been through it..
I d love to have some support, as i find it really hard to talk to my family.

Thanks for reading
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