Another Birthday Without you...

[cal821]

Thought I would post for my Tam... Though I never got to say good-bye

Happy Birthday Tam June 27th 1970-2008



Waving Her Last Goodbye


I’ve seen so many people pass
Gets hard to watch them go
Some used to be friends from my past
Some were others that I just know

I wish that I could have touched her
All I could do was watch her die
I sit and look at her picture
Then I break down and cry

She was just a few yards from me
Why didn’t they let me go
Three of them held me back
As she raised her arm so slow

I knew she was reaching for me
But they didn’t seem to understand
With her last breath she was looking for him
But the three were holding back her man

If I could just have touched her
And kissed her pretty face
And told her to be waiting
In Heaven’s most holy place

One day I’d be sure to follow
When it’s my turn to say goodbye
Now inside I feel so hollow
And there’s nothing left to do but cry

I picture in my mind
Tenderly stroking her face and hair
And whispering ever softly
My love, one day I will be there

On that morning when I finally got to you
All I could do is stare disbelievingly and cry
Never got to hold you one last time
They held me back as you waved your last goodbye

Oh Father, so much anger
Oh Father, so much pain
That day the tears were pouring faster
Like downpours in a thunderstorm of rain

Lord Jesus, I know she’s with you
As you sent your answer to me with your love
A double rainbow sent with love, it’s true
Sent by your hand from up above

Lord Jesus, I still miss her
I can still feel the softness of her hand
I see the nighttime walks we took together
You just knew she loved her man

So proud was I of her
She was my best friend in my life
So smart and yet so childlike
That was the girl I called my wife

One minute she was so innocent
Another, so funny and naïve
I know Heavenly Father where she was sent
Because I know that she believes

I know that you allowed her
That rainbow so vivid in the sky
A sign shouted out loud by her
As She Waved Her Last Goodbye

Because her man’s heart was broken
In a million pieces on that day
Jesus, always ever faithful
Held my hand as I sobbed away

Oh Lord, how can I ever thank you
What are the words to say
Lord, I still sin, we both know it’s true
But you still love me anyway

Father God, thank you for your Son
Jesus, thank you for all you ever gave
Such courage, you died for all of us
Our sins perish, our spirits forever saved

To this day I still remember
To this day I still do cry
I remember Tammy and my love together
And how you allowed Our Last Goodbye


Cal821

[hazelharris]

dear dave what a very moving poem that reaches the heart and soul to the tradgedy of tammys parting i can almost feel the agony and pain it gave you
whatever the personal heartahe we all go through wether its a loss by an illness or accident it all goes round our heads why ?in illness we question ourselves why did they get this was it anything we or they did did i give something in the food that sparked off a reaction was it the cold etc that was caught from me that the body reacted badly to endless whys and if we had done things differently would it still have happened in an accident the whys and what ifs must have been enormous going round your head as i can imagine
but that is life these things happen there was never anything we could have done to prevent any of it God calls the shots not us his reasons will be clear to us when we reach heaven and are reunited with our loved ones
chrissie told me of her mums belief we are all born with a candle of life but some of us our candles are shorter than others if our loved ones had the shorter candle we can keep it alight in our own way as we keep their love and memories alive
this is what you are doing with tammy we didn't know her yet now we do - we didn't meet her yet we feel we have - we never loved her but trough you we all must feel we know tammy and we love her
God bless you dave love hazelxxx

[Oonagh]

Oh Dave, I'm in tears at such a powerful, emotive poem. Your love, your frustration and your gratitude come across really strong within these lines. It's beautiful and I know it was written with all the emotions that you feel about her death and how you are now. So very sad and yet so full of hope too. I love rainbows and they are signs of hope from God.

God bless you Dave xx

[gumek]

Originally Posted by cal821

Thought I would post for my Tam... Though I never got to say good-bye

Happy Birthday Tam June 27th 1970-2008



Waving Her Last Goodbye


I’ve seen so many people pass
Gets hard to watch them go
Some used to be friends from my past
Some were others that I just know

I wish that I could have touched her
All I could do was watch her die
I sit and look at her picture
Then I break down and cry

She was just a few yards from me
Why didn’t they let me go
Three of them held me back
As she raised her arm so slow

I knew she was reaching for me
But they didn’t seem to understand
With her last breath she was looking for him
But the three were holding back her man

If I could just have touched her
And kissed her pretty face
And told her to be waiting
In Heaven’s most holy place

One day I’d be sure to follow
When it’s my turn to say goodbye
Now inside I feel so hollow
And there’s nothing left to do but cry

I picture in my mind
Tenderly stroking her face and hair
And whispering ever softly
My love, one day I will be there

On that morning when I finally got to you
All I could do is stare disbelievingly and cry
Never got to hold you one last time
They held me back as you waved your last goodbye

Oh Father, so much anger
Oh Father, so much pain
That day the tears were pouring faster
Like downpours in a thunderstorm of rain

Lord Jesus, I know she’s with you
As you sent your answer to me with your love
A double rainbow sent with love, it’s true
Sent by your hand from up above

Lord Jesus, I still miss her
I can still feel the softness of her hand
I see the nighttime walks we took together
You just knew she loved her man

So proud was I of her
She was my best friend in my life
So smart and yet so childlike
That was the girl I called my wife

One minute she was so innocent
Another, so funny and naïve
I know Heavenly Father where she was sent
Because I know that she believes

I know that you allowed her
That rainbow so vivid in the sky
A sign shouted out loud by her
As She Waved Her Last Goodbye

Because her man’s heart was broken
In a million pieces on that day
Jesus, always ever faithful
Held my hand as I sobbed away

Oh Lord, how can I ever thank you
What are the words to say
Lord, I still sin, we both know it’s true
But you still love me anyway

Father God, thank you for your Son
Jesus, thank you for all you ever gave
Such courage, you died for all of us
Our sins perish, our spirits forever saved

To this day I still remember
To this day I still do cry
I remember Tammy and my love together
And how you allowed Our Last Goodbye


Cal821

dear dave, as i read your words my heart broke for you my friend, i join with our forum friends and weep with you, if we could just reach out to you and take your sadness away, dave you were one of the ones who helped me out of the deep waters that i was drowning in when my precious husband went home to God, you told me how our loves can hear us, speak to us, come to us in our dreams, you have been a rock to so many of us, will you now please allow us to help you, will you rest a while and come with us to the LOrd and allow Him to hold you, we will come with you, He has promised to gather all our tears and to wipe them away from our eyes, please come, i'm going now, and you and all our family here i'm taking with me.

chrissie. xxx

[hazelharris]

this was me dave when i was really down before you and all my friends here rescued me

see the garden weeds all grown neglected in my sorrow
don't care for anything whats the point of my tomorrow
the birds still sing their songs of joy can't they here me scream in pain
as life goes on without you my mind will go insane
my body left this empty shell for all i was was you
i.m nothing now God help me guide me what to do
don't go don't go my love my heart
i cannot live if were apart

oh lift me up on angels wing
to where you are so i can sing
can't understand a God damn thing
because your not here with me

the children play their faces bright
the sun shines and day comes night
how can all be so allright to those who do not know
the sea still breaks on lonely shores
and lovers meet behind closed doors
flowers still bloom along the lonely lane
how can this world go on just the same
come back come back my love divine
just hold me one more time

oh lift me up on angels wing
to where you are so i can sing
can't understand a God damn thing
because your not here with me

your clothes are just lying there
today my love what would you wear if you were here with me
it's all still here the same the things once your eyes did see
same world same chair same kitchen sink and all that was our home
and on the table stabs my heart one place says i'm alone
now an empty space in time the presence of you gone
and nothing now can touch my heart
no joy no light no song
all gone all gone life let me be
to wallow in your memory

oh lift me up on angels wing
to where you are so i can sing
can't understand a God damn thing
my love come back to me

i wrote this after losing darren and for those who read this who are recently bereaved slowly we accept our loss move forward and face the sun again where the shadows will always be behind us their love will always be in our hearts forever

[gumek]

Originally Posted by hazelharris

this was me dave when i was really down before you and all my friends here rescued me

see the garden weeds all grown neglected in my sorrow
don't care for anything whats the point of my tomorrow
the birds still sing their songs of joy can't they here me scream in pain
as life goes on without you my mind will go insane
my body left this empty shell for all i was was you
i.m nothing God help me guide me what to do
don't go don't go my love my heart
i cannot live if were apart

oh lift me up on angels wing
to where you are so i can sing
can't understand a God damn thing
because your not here with me

the children play their faces bright
the sun shines and day comes night
how can all be so allright to those who do not know
the sea still breaks on lonely shores
and lovers meet behind closed doors
flowers still bloom along the lonely lane
how can this world go on just the same
come back come back my love divine
just hold me one more time

oh lift me up on angels wing
to where you are so i can sing
can't understand a God damn thing
because your not here with me

your clothes are just lying there
today my love what would you wear if you were here with me
it's all still here the same as then things once your eyes did see
same world same home same kitchen sink the life of you and me
now an empty space in time the presence of you gone
and nothing now can touch my heart
no joy no light no song
all gone all gone life let me be
to wallow in your memory

oh lift me up on angels wing
to where you are so i can sing
can't understand a God damn thing
my love come back to me

dear hazel, thinking of you now my friend, taking you to that place with all of us. xxxxxx chrissie. may he wrap his loving arms around you.

[sdk]

Hazel,

Thank you for that poem and thank you again for the poem you wrote for Jim and my anniversary. Your poem spoke so many feelings that I think we all feel even those who are not recently berveaved. Those feelings stay with us for a long time even if we cover them up with trying to lead a different kind of life then we were used to. I was in a store and passed the isle that sold greeting cards and I just started to cry. I ended uo buying Jim 3 cards. One for our annivserary, one to say I live you and one that send I send my hugs. I will give it to his picture tommorrow morning like I would have done if he was here. I did not realize how hard this was going to be but it feels like the hole in my heart has gotten even bigger. I want to crawl in a corner or punch a hole in the wall. At the same time I know I can't do that because
when Jim spoke to me through the medium last week he doesnt want me to go to that "feeling place" anymore and that he loves me and I am not alone.

Chrissie, hope you are doing alright and thank you for always being there.
I joined another sight here in the US put stopped after two days because the poeple are nothing like all of the great people on this sight.

Speak to you both tommorrow.

Love and Hugs,

Sheryl

[hazelharris]

hi chrissie sorry about my private message i hope my wrong name didn't upset you i tried to change it when i realised my mistake but i couldn't i only noticed after i pressed the send button must be tired and mixed with lager
hazelxx

[hazelharris]

hi sheryl thanks for the reply so sorry you are having such a hard time i wanted to send you this message to say our thoughts are with you as you come to your anniversary hold on to the good memories jim will have wanted you to remember them all with a smile celebrate the wonderful 33 years you gave to one another all that love has not gone it's there always with you
love hazelxxxx

[cal821]

Just thinking about my Tam......... 6 years have gone by and I still miss her dearly. Though I know she wants me to move on with my life......... its hard to really let them go. I miss ya Tam...........