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Old July 24th, 2013, 15:41
Helpheartsheal Helpheartsheal is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 24

Originally Posted by Whitehorse81 View Post
Karen: In most states the ashes would go to the spouse first, kids second, other relatives third. Not sure what your state laws read. Now, you have sent a message to your aunt with your requests, so that means something has changed, legally. Your aunt needs to respond to your wishes either good or bad, and then if you do not like the response, you will have to retain a lawyer. Did your aunt pay for your dad's cremation? Just wondering how she ended up with the ashes. The crematory/funeral home could/should have mailed them to you if you did not live close. You could ask for a copy of the cremation contract that was signed when your dad passed. See what it says about "next of kin"....this is where your lawyer would start. Sounds like somebody didn't do their job.

So sorry you are facing this.

My nan actually paid for the funeral and cremation etc, and my dads next of kin was his wife, but they were separated. so I am guessing my nan/aunt went to collect the ashes when they were ready as his wife did not want them anymore.
I have told her that we want to scatter them at another time or maybe have some ashes so me and my brother can do something ourselves...she hasn't really said much to be honest but hopefully I am making progress.
I would not have said anything if it wasn't for the support you all gave me so thank you x
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Old July 26th, 2013, 15:23
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 406

Helpheartsheal, here's hoping your aunt feels some compassion and realizes there are others who are hurting in addition to herself.

You and your brother need to grieve in your own time and in your own way, and it's important she realizes this. Important for her own sake, for her own heart and spirit to grow outward.

Let us know if you get a positive result. You're in my thoughts today.
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