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  #1  
Old August 16th, 2007, 04:14
Helen1961 Helen1961 is offline
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Default Dementia is like bereavement, too

It seems to me that dementia is pretty much like bereavement - there should be a site for that! My mother is currently in a residential home for people with dementia. She is due to be reassessed and my dad still wants her to come home so that he can take care of her but I'm sure her social worker will not be in favour of that. Mum doesn't know who he is all of the time and it is not thought to be appropriate for him to take care of her when she thinks he is some man who 'keeps coming into her house'. It's a pretty sad state of affairs really. As my dad says, you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy. On a lighter note Jim, my husband, saw a car sticker recently that said 'Be kind to your children: one day they will be choosing your care home'! I guess you need to have been there to appreciate such black humour!
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Old August 21st, 2007, 04:19
turtle turtle is offline
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I agree; a quick search on the Internet revealed a lot of results discussing grief in dementia, in both the patient and the carer. Here's one of them:
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Caring_...vice_grief.htm
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  #3  
Old August 25th, 2007, 08:17
Taggart Taggart is offline
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I'm sorry to hear about your mother's condition. I think that's a tragedy a lot of us haven't really thought about.

A friend's mother used to start making meals some days, thinking she was still cooking for people who worked on the farm where she lived. She was thinking of a time decades ago. In her case there was some danger involved with using the stove and not thinking clearly.
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Old August 28th, 2007, 19:42
Calypso Calypso is offline
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I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, and I think you are absolutely right about dementia being a kind of bereavement. In fact, I think it is a series of bereavements, because as soon as you get used to one limitation, your loved one's condition changes and there are new limitations and losses to get used to.

Ronald Reagan's daughter Patti Davis wrote a book titled, "The Long Goodbye" about her father's battle with Alzheimer's. I read it years ago and remember thinking it was an excellent book, but I especially liked the title. The Long Goodbye is exactly what dementia is all about.
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  #5  
Old September 12th, 2007, 08:18
Taggart Taggart is offline
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I'd be curious to know how people who've dealt with dementia felt about its treatment in the movie The Notebook?

We just watched that last weekend and it caused me to think about things I'd never really considered before.

I realize movies often misrepresent serious issues.
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  #6  
Old November 15th, 2007, 07:40
katharina katharina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso View Post
Ronald Reagan's daughter Patti Davis wrote a book titled, "The Long Goodbye" about her father's battle with Alzheimer's. I read it years ago and remember thinking it was an excellent book, but I especially liked the title. The Long Goodbye is exactly what dementia is all about.
I think I'd like to read this book! Yes, it sounds like a very good title. It
must be so difficult to watch this happening to a family member. I have an
uncle who went through it before he passed away, but I didn't have to
actually watch it, just hear about it. He'd always been a minister, but he
was a totally different person for the last few years of his life.
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Old November 16th, 2007, 11:11
reviewer reviewer is offline
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Dementia is a horrible thing to watch from the perspective of a family member. To have someone you love be increasingly inaccessible and unlike themselves... I feel great sympathy for those in that situation.
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Old November 28th, 2007, 14:51
katharina katharina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reviewer View Post
Dementia is a horrible thing to watch from the perspective of a family member. To have someone you love be increasingly inaccessible and unlike themselves... I feel great sympathy for those in that situation.
I do, too... it's probably comforting to some people that their loved one isn't
actually suffering because they don't know what's going on. But for those
around them, it's so very difficult.
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  #9  
Old December 1st, 2007, 13:57
reviewer reviewer is offline
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I don't know if one is easier than the other, but it doesn't really matter. Ultimately, both are difficult experiences and can use the support of friends and family.
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